Prof. Saab Story

Recent episodes of leaving the name “Reviewer 2” with the barista is not going well. Going with “Skanda” or “Kokopelli” next time

#AcademicSky

AI sludge on screens
Student minds erode with prompts
Techbro margins grow

#AcademicSky

Highly cited ≠ leadership material in Academia… Yet here we are… amateur hour with fancy letterhead and long signatures.

No wonder the serious people don’t volunteer.

#AcademicSky

University has some dumb-ass AI initiatives forcing tech-bro AI sludge down everyone’s throat.

Hey “Strategic Initiative” Team: a 99% AUC curve will NEVER replace subject matter expertise, nor the need to DEVELOP critical skills in our students.

You’re a tool, not a panacea.

#AcademicSky

Snow, sand, salt and mud
The quad covered with footprints
Parking lot? Dead Saab

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jealousy gets you nowhere

That feeling when you have a “review revised article request” email, and the responses to your critique are all addressed, and you don’t want to actually read the paper and just hit “accept”

#academicsky

Expressing disappointment in a student’s for poor data management execution is performative art.

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Somewhere between updating a spreadsheet and rebooting a frozen computer, I realized the real skill in academia is pretending this is all normal.

#academicsky

Cheering in the New Year
With frothy libations,
Another year …
of chasing citations
And high impact factor publications

Or maybe you say “screw it …
Dump it all in Arxiv” this year
I have no fear!
Publishing cretins,
and techbro whores

2026
what a fix
Tenure denied
from a KPI

#AcademicSky

“Thank you for your email. I will be away from the office for a few weeks. If this is a review request, the answer is. Baaeee.”

#AcademicSky

Models spew garbage,
Thinking shrinks… h-index bloats
Gamified scholars.

#AcademicSky

How about YOU READ THE DAMN THING?

“Suffocate your neurons, for the low price of $20/month!”

#AcademicSky

How to juice your Google Scholar h-index, preprint by preprint A screenshot of Yousaf’s Google Scholar profile before it was removed. Muhammad Zain Yousaf, a postdoc at Zhejiang University in Hangzhou, China, became a scholar of note overnight. Or so it …

Yeah… I am a grump… and yes.. this so this is so academically cringe… but … I am not comfortable with the academic doxing either.

Just call it out as bad behaviour…destroying peoples lives is mean.

Am I just out of touch?

#AcademicSky

retractionwatch.com/2025/12/08/h...

Winter settles in, term finally ends. Snow falls quietly, covering the mess of the academic year. Publishers post record windfall profits, like never-ending snow storms. My soul gets buried in malaise.

#academicsky

… lets start by burning predatory journals.

#AcademicSky

utppublishing.com/doi/10.3138/...

As the world burns, science dies, and the techbros sell their AI like crack, the most critical issue of the day is font selection.

It won’t be long before my Saab is mistaken as a DEI purchase.

#AcademicSky

Open Access… sheesh
More like Open Your Wallets
Now, trainees suffer

#AcademicSky

Publishers are suddenly ‘excited about AI’ … as if they didn’t spend decades profiting off unpaid human labor. Same extraction, new buzzwords, no attribution.

Different tool, identical invoice.

#academicsky

Me after a AI-generated Linked In post full of psycho-babble and inane icons.

Felt the same way learning how to put in washer fluid into my Saab.

#academicsky

Crap like this pissed me off.

Lets replace a false notion of “productivity”with deep and critical thinking. Heaven forbid students actually *speaking* to an assorted collection of experts and real knowledge and wisdom generators.

Stop feeding AI-head addicts.

#AcademicSky

x.com/faheem_uh/st...

Here… let me help you.

#AcademicSky

Long review, no soul,
Buzzwords filling empty text
Citations jimmied

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What the hell with all these review papers? Seems like a cheap way for AI-heads to try to crank up their h-index without doing something meaningful.

Grad students, yes… for sure… but some are just so suss.

#AcademicSky

Just don’t… just …. don’t

- ask me to fill outa Doodle Poll, especially when you can *see* my calendar
- ask me to access data on Dropbox: homey don’t pay that
- charge me 500$ for the page of citations in my peer reviewed paper

Thank you for your attention to these matters

#AcademicSky

The fall of a prolific science journal exposes the billion-dollar profits of scientific publishing One of the 15 publications that put out the most studies globally has been expelled from the indexing system for irregularities. Its publisher, Elsevier, has a 38% profit margin that reached $1.5 bill...

Ya don’t say…

#AcademicSky

english.elpais.com/science-tech...

There should be faculty drinking game where “AI” and “leveraging” are both used in the title of an advertised colloquia, seminars, or rounds.

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Absolutely unapologetic

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After 4th revison

#academicsky

This is giving me fits. “Because its my academic duty … “

(Excuse me while i attend to a screaming break light on my Saab)