itsonlyzach

Returning queen for Middle East War: All Stars!!

Say this in Vanessa Hudgens's voice.

Forgive me for loving feel good flicks.

If I were an Academy voter, I promise you I would lie and offer the most unhinged anonymous Oscar ballot every year.

Imagining Sarah Paulson and Evan Peters with a lead pipe.

An Alexander the Great who actually fucks...oh Ryan Murphy, your days are numbered.

That's definitely the case, but reporting it as a "gotcha" just feels off to me.

I do not wish him the best, but that's because he's a very bad person.

There are endless reasons why Markwayne Mullin shouldn't be in government, nevermind leading DHS, but seeing folks citing that he doesn't have a Bachelor's Degree as one of them feels kind of gross and elitist and no small part of how we ended up with a Trump voting coalition in the first place.

Friends often turn to me for trenchant political commentary.

Went to the Attitudes store, and they were all out of Linda Dano. :(

Better than even chance that this actually happens in the next season.

Not taking any moral or intellectual stances about current foreign relations until I get the Morning Show’s take on it.

You know this bitch is going to show up and say dumb shit when an ill-planned American war breaks out in the Middle East.

I really hope this is the outcome.

If you're ever being robbed or attacked by a gay person, ask them to rank* the Scream movies as a distraction, and you'll be able to escape unharmed (except for having to hear them talk about their unending Scream movie rankings.)

Bigger problems in the world, but a third Oscar for Sean Penn would feel so bleak.

Feels like we should be using the gender neutral term Ayatollx.

I did a photoshoot by myself in a subway station because the train was late, I was alone, and I wanted to show you I wore an ascot to a gala.

how it feels being on bluesky and not giving a fuck about Pokémon

Homosexual in tuxedo

Homosexual in tuxedo

It’s after 5:00. What am I, a farmer?

Alas, I continually participate in their fiction.

Big night for Stop2stop and End2end.

I know it wasn't because I would have watched that.

The finale had me cryin' again.

And being on bsky during the State of the Union will be like watching it on IMAX at double the volume with everyone around you shouting.

Save yourself. Watch The Boyfriend on Netflix, pick up a book, tackle that knitting project. You won't be missing out on any good citizenship awards!

Remember tonight that instead of watching the State of the Union, you could be doing literally anything else.

You're already casting this in your head, and you're correct.

In the next 2 years we absolutely and unfortunately will see a streaming comedy series about gay influencers trapped in a vacation house while a cartel war breaks out outside. It will be canceled after one season, but the discourse about it will last for many years after.

You shall not pass.