Artists have long shaped our relationship with sex appeal and sexuality. From the Blues to rap, and everything in between, musicians open showcase of their sexual prowess and bodily autonomy gives audiences a framework from which they either continue social scripts or break free.
#TalkMeThroughItTuesday y'all know what this week is. February 13th is #BlackLoveDay and the 14th is #ValentinesDay. So why not get into our cultural definitions of Black love?
Black people deserve to be seen as whole — not just trauma, not just struggle, not just strength.
Sometimes we’re just in love. Sometimes we’re just horny. Sometimes we’re just happy.
When we see Black romance, tenderness, desire, and pleasure on TV and in film, it impacts how we:
~Imagine love for ourselves
~Choose partners and expect to be treated
~Understand consent, affection, & care
~Move through the world with softness instead of always in survival mode
This short, silent film shows a Black couple kissing, laughing, and enjoying each other like it’s the most natural thing in the world… because it is. And that matters because representation shapes what we think is possible.
If you’ve never seen Something Good – Negro Kiss (1898) then let this #BlackHistoryMonth pass without tuning in.
Black History Month is about reclaiming stories that reshape our understanding of power, pleasure, and possibility.
Today’s sexual wellness world is more expansive because Black disabled innovators like Duncan insisted that pleasure shouldn’t be limited by race, ability, or desire.
WEEK 5: Integration, Reflection & Rebirth
bringing it all together, embodiment, and moving forward
Day 31: Write a reflection or affirmation to close Sextober:
“I honor my body, my desires, and my right to experience joy, softness, and ecstasy — on my own terms.”
WEEK 5: Integration, Reflection & Rebirth
bringing it all together, embodiment, and moving forward
Day 30: How do I define pleasure activism in my own life and community?
WEEK 5: Integration, Reflection & Rebirth
bringing it all together, embodiment, and moving forward
Day 29: What am I learning about the kind of lover, partner, or sexual being I want to be?
WEEK 4: Creative, Spiritual, & Erotic Expression
writing, artistry, ritual, and erotic imagination
Day 28: What parts of me come alive when I’m in flow, turned on, or inspired?
WEEK 4: Creative, Spiritual, & Erotic Expression
writing, artistry, ritual, and erotic imagination
Day 27: What rituals make me feel most connected to my erotic power (baths, oiling skin, dancing, masturbation)?
WEEK 4: Creative, Spiritual, & Erotic Expression
writing, artistry, ritual, and erotic imagination
Day 26: How do creativity and sexuality feed each other in my life?
WEEK 4: Creative, Spiritual, & Erotic Expression
writing, artistry, ritual, and erotic imagination
Day 25: Write a short story, memory, or fantasy that centers Black pleasure without apology.
WEEK 4: Creative, Spiritual, & Erotic Expression
writing, artistry, ritual, and erotic imagination
Day 24: What does divine or ancestral sexuality mean to me?
Vintage, Black ads were always so sultry. They were provocative, yet not crude, in a way that filled the page with an intoxicating level of eroticism.
But y'all know me it's always that deep haha. We can see through revisiting old ads how sexy was often hetero and male-centered.
WEEK 4: Creative, Spiritual, & Erotic Expression
writing, artistry, ritual, and erotic imagination
Day 23: Create a sensual playlist or altar. What songs, scents, or items awaken your erotic energy?
So if you've got a couple of dollars to spare, think about spending them to support Black authors and Black books while curating a Black ass personal library.
While I love that I've built such a dope ass community online, I never want to give the impression that I need to be the end-all be-all of your Black sex/sexuality education. Also, I'm not a book snob. There's just as much to learn about Black love from the arts as there is from academia.
Went to the National Museum of African American History and Culture and stumbled upon a book that had been in my 'to buy' category for far too long. So what did I do? I spent the $30 of course!
WEEK 4: Creative, Spiritual, & Erotic Expression
writing, artistry, ritual, and erotic imagination
Day 22: Write an erotic poem or love note to your future self; the version who feels fully sexually free.
WEEK 3: Desire, Kink & Liberation
sexual politics, kink, queerness, and freedom
Day 21: What role does community or chosen family play in my sexual liberation journey?
WEEK 3: Desire, Kink & Liberation
sexual politics, kink, queerness, and freedom
Day 20: What is my relationship to dominance, submission, control, or surrender?
WEEK 3: Desire, Kink & Liberation
sexual politics, kink, queerness, and freedom
Day 19: Write about a time you felt powerful in your erotic energy — what made it sacred?
WEEK 3: Desire, Kink & Liberation
sexual politics, kink, queerness, and freedom
Day 18: How has religion, capitalism, or gender expectations influenced my sexual expression?
WEEK 3: Desire, Kink & Liberation
sexual politics, kink, queerness, and freedom
Day 17: Explore a kink, fantasy, or curiosity you’ve never shared. What about it intrigues or scares you?
WEEK 3: Desire, Kink & Liberation
sexual politics, kink, queerness, and freedom
Day 16: How do I navigate shame around desire, especially as a Black person?
WEEK 3: Desire, Kink & Liberation
sexual politics, kink, queerness, and freedom
Day 15: What does sexual freedom look like for me — personally, politically, spiritually?
WEEK 2: Touch, Trust & Trauma
healing, sexual self-awareness, boundaries, and trust work
Day 14: What are the ways I can reconnect to erotic joy that feel gentle and safe for me right now?
WEEK 2: Touch, Trust & Trauma
healing, sexual self-awareness, boundaries, and trust work
Day 13: How does pleasure help me heal?
