SAINT SLUGGODIN SAYS FUCK MARK CUBAN

My oldest tattoo is old enough to drink as of last year lmao

EPA Unveils Plan To Make Water Chunkier

EPA Unveils Plan To Make Water Chunkier https://theonion.com/epa-unveils-plan-to-make-water-chunkier/

Well, they’re just swimming in money and free time right now, why not.

Does this building feel hunger? Has that airplane ever loved? And why the hell can't I get my pet rock to behave?

Does my AI have anxiety? Is this LLM a narcissist? Is Trader Joe’s an ally? Is MasterCard my friend?

A bunch of celebrities have been declaring that they dislike cats because they’re “mean” animals

This is like when people complain that they don’t like turkey because it’s dry: they’re telling on their own incompetence.

Ham-fisted dopes don’t know how to approach cats. Not the cat’s problem

Opinion: Floating timelines don't work when your characters are defined by their generations. Bart is a millennial 90s kid, Homer is a boomer who grew up in the post-war era, Grandpa is a WW2 vet. You change that, you change the characters into something else and they don't ring true anymore.

Collecting your money illegally was so much easier.

Apparently Saturn has been in my zodiac sign for the last 3 years and that’s supposed to explain a lot of what happened to me.

HEAR YE HEAR YE! THAT INTERNET ICON, YOUR FAVORITE, SAINT SLUGGO, TURNS 50 THIS WEEKEND! WHAT COULD BE A COOLER PRESENT THAN *A NEW CAREER*? HELP YER OL PAL SLUGGO SPEND THE NEXT HALF A CENTURY DOING SOMETHING HE LOVES THAT JUST MIGHT PAY A LIVABLE WAGE

Once again I am proven 10,000% correct. We have to give the book back to the mob, placing a bet should involve a guy that will tune you up in an alley if you fuck around too much.

Yeah, what I said. bsky.app/profile/atru...

“I used to have a tattoo your age, but I covered it up.”

No but “injectable support liver” is fucking sci fi magic on the level of shit Elon blows hot air about constantly.

The U.S. unexpectedly loses 92,000 jobs, adding to worries about the economy The job market showed further signs of weakness last month as employers cut 92,000 jobs. The unemployment rate inched up to 4.4%, from 4.3% in January.

This is completely unexpected by anyone who hasn’t had to engage with the job market for the last year or for whom the economy is a thing to read about.

Anyone trying to survive knows that if you exclude the fake AI bubble, we’ve been in recession for at least a year. www.npr.org/2026/03/06/n...

I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe.
Two D graphics on CGA monitors.
I’ve heard modems handshake at 1200 baud.
All those moments will be lost in time, like mom picked up the phone.

New details emerge about armed man shot and killed at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Austin Tucker Martin, 21, was killed by Secret Service after entering Trump’s Florida resort with a shotgun on Sunday

Remember the guy who got shot at Mar-A-Lago two weeks ago? Follow the pattern:

Incident happens
GOP IMMEDIATELY blames the Left for it.
An undeniable connection to the Right is discovered.
Story disappears from the news cycle.

Wash, rinse, repeat. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

😭

Day 6 of Operation Hit the Dab for Harambe

Fun weekend idea:
Send Sluggo All Of Your Money

I heard all the cool kids and hep cats were throwing a couple bucks at Sluggo. That’s what I heard.

Oh shit, look, you’ve got a chance to throw a couple bucks at Sluggo, what are the odds

I’ve been trying for most of a year to raise $5000. I’ve gotten ~$2000. For me $3000 lets me immediately finish paying off trade school with money left over to til e for my LLC and appropriate licenses. My life would change IMMEDIATELY. bsky.app/profile/sain...

BEHOLD! ON THIS THORSDAY, THE GODS GRANT YOU A GREAT BOON, AND GIVE UNTO YOU A MIGHTY GEAS, FOR NOW… *NOW*, THEE HAS A CHANCE AND DUTY TO GIVE AID AND SUCCOR TO A MEAGER JOURNEYMAN SMITH, TO AID HIM IN HIS QUEST TO AID OTHERS, TO CREATE, TO RECOVER WHAT HAS BEEN LOST!

YOU HAVE ONE DAY, YELLABELLIES

Top Stories Markets THE WALL STREET JOURNAL. Opinion Business Tech U.S. Hegseth Finds His Footing as Epic Fury's Front Man As conservative critics question the assault on Iran, President Trump's TV-ready defense secretary is going on offense. World

What

The single most important thing a man can do to be an ally is give his woman friends permission to give dudes at the bar his number so when they call he can angrily say that's not funny because she died 15 years ago that very night

Happy Friday! 👻

Tate was trying to get to Dubai on a bus.

When they got to the Saudi border everyone was told to get off for passport and baggage checks and Tate decided to stay on - presumably because the bus was air conditioned and he didn't want to stand in a queue.

He then got detained by Saudi guards.

"he's just stupid! i find this plausible because i am also stupid!" is objectively a weird angle people keep trying to take on this. if you've studied WW2 for years you know what it is. if you watch an hour of the history channel falling asleep on the couch every day you know what it is

Still not clear on why the insider trading company targeting kids with gambling ads is permitted to legally operate, but then again I feel that way about a lot of tech companies that would have been broken up and forced to close as flagrantly criminal enterprises even 20 years ago.

AND INTRODUCING

JOHN HURT

AS

THE WAR QUEER