AlimentaryMagic

Man, it looks like Noah Wylie went really dark in season 2...

The number of times I've had to tell people, "Do not try to get me to lie for you, I'm very, very bad at it. Yes, even for that minor socially expected white lie."

*Once* they kick in, dang it

One the massive HR1 cuts kick in...

"Sorry, but your research does not support our existing narratives."

There are a couple of places in the review where it's clear the writer assumes, for no stated reason, that "order" necessarily follows from a consolidation of power, & that smaller kingdoms and tribes automatically means "chaos," which is, at best, a grade-school level understanding of human society

It was a time of baddie bodies, it was a time of chopped uncs...

This would clearly be cruel and unusual punishment

I bet it's a lot of stuff like zyns that aren't smoked/vaped

I was almost on season 1 of Survivor (like got through all the physical & psychological pre-screening & in-person interviews) and the show side wanted me but the network execs thought I was, "too weird" for national TV

You, yourself, are nothing but a wealth of bones to that kitty.

One grandfather was a pharmacist in Cuba, came here and worked as a chemist in a lab. The other grandfather worked in a battery factory, then became a battery salesman for the same company.

god saves his spiciest mustard for his bravest lil corndogs

Not knowing the song, I've decided it involves singing the words, "Women of Ireland," to the tune for, "Lady of Spain" in the obvious places

Boomers did not live through most of what's on your list, since they were born after WWII & were too young to serve in Korea. And yes, they *famously* blamed their parents for the Vietnam war, which created the entire "generation gap" narrative.

Regret to announce that we’ve reached Wrong Coat season. Every coat you wear from now til mid April will be The Wrong Coat for the weather

I'm certain there's at least one person out there who thinks I'm a bot, because I see something like that and immediately go, "Oh, a Good Writing Challenge!(tm)" and start constructing pangolin haiku.

Me before reading article: It's seriously worrying that we've started to blame everything on Epstein, this strips other people and ourselves of accountability and ignores other damaging factors.

Me after reading article: Welp.

I did a 2-sleeps schedule when my daughter was young: fall asleep with her at 8, wake up at midnight, back asleep at 2, wake up at 6 to start the day. It was great.

I think he hears anyone coming with plenty of time to hide

Screenshot of a tweet from @_lildubois saying, "well well well, if it isn't the consequences of my actions" Tweet is from Sept. 28, 2018

Post old memes to confuse young people

Our pantry always has 72 extra bottles of lemon juice, except when I'm looking for a new one, at which point there are always 0 bottles of lemon juice, thus causing me to buy another on my next grocery trip. Inevitably, when I go to put away that new bottle, the 72 other bottles reappear.

Hamilton sing-along muscle memory just kicked in.

"I wanna be in the room when it happens,
the room when it happens,
the room when it happens."

This feels like it shouldn't be controversial to say, and yet...

Sorry, but that produce stocker is *clearly* using all their Adderall themself

As someone commented, this is the principal equivalent of jury nullification.

For soft enamel, that goes pretty hard

People have always been people

Even Arizona iced tea hasn't stayed the same price for that long!