Donkey Hotay 💩

My midlife crisis involves me getting tooth gems.

Oh shit here comes the boom labeler. Get low

I don’t have time to goon what with all the choking my chicken and charming my snake

Takes an act of congress and a 2/3 majority vote from all bsky members to get off that list

Why you posting screenshots from the place that shall not be named?

bsky.app/profile/did:.. @linkwatch.bsky.social has added you to the "Posts Links to X" moderation list bsky.app/profile/did:..

Hey @linkwatch.bsky.social check your automation because all I did was mention the place and how I avoid screenshots of it ya killjoy.

The one universal truth no human can escape is that the first flavor you ever experienced was your mom’s wap

We used to call it a fetty wetty

Sleep deprivation was less lame when I was young and whacked out on booze and uppers

My nephew, father to be in 3 months:
Uncle Donk any advice on being a dad?

Me:
Newborn babies are immobile and depraved feral animals who’s sole purpose in their first 6 months on earth is to inflict sleep deprivation on all who live in their domain

At the casino when I randomly win 2 hands in a row and notice the pit boss glance in my direction I panic and intentionally lose all my chips to avoid having my fingers cut off

Loan clerk:
So you need a loan because your gambling is informed by watching too many Scorsese movies?

construction is complete at mar a lago del fuego. it sits vacant waiting for its king’s hardened arteries to send him home

I removed the driver seat from a tesla and I shit you not Elon popped out of that battery compartment hissing and screaming at me so I tazed him and crammed him back in there.

I devised a solution for the always lost TV remote and I call it “fuck this TV and fuck Spectrum too”

The only thing worse than paying for the pleasure of streaming commercials is paying for the fuckass programming sprinkled in with them.

“Sleep deprivation is a one-way ticket to temporary psychosis.”

Temporary? Oh thank god! One question how do you define temporary?

The voice in Donk’s head encouraged him to enjoy a fat rail after his hoe ass week at work.

Me:
Clever, Mom. But you know I don’t do coke any more

In his heart Donk knew he owed his mom an 8 ball at the very least after birthing his enormous head

M:
Come down from the attic mom

My internal dialogue is an unreliable narrator.

When I drink during a full moon I turn into an unawarewolf

baja blast bad bunny

If i could time travel i'd only use it for murderous purposes.

Call me a joker, a smoker even a midnight toker but never a micro influencer.

You can't run from your problems, but you can start a huge fire as a diversion.

Male strip club in Odessa, TX:

Cracker Bare-All

I don’t eat at Cracker Barrel. I have to work with a bunch of crackers all day and if that ain’t bad enough I live with a couple too

The only thing worse than paying for the pleasure of streaming commercials is paying for the fuckass programming sprinkled in with them.

Bowie might have invented AI just for that video then destroyed it recognizing the harm those Americans could do with it.

He’s a fucking vampire and not even trying to hide it. Anyone ever see NIN perform in daylight?

Perhaps the universe is sending you a message about the importance of the collective fucking Bezos in his earhole one cancelled account at a time

I'll post dick pics when Bluesky goes 3D