Andy & the End Times

When did your obsession with hot toxic women begin?

Me trying to take a picture with my gangly and awkward Japanese Chin

TL;DR: it caught the midnight train going anywhere

Living here in Champaign-Urbana, I feel like it is an overall accepting place for our trans friends, but all I can do is set an example. The Midwest’s pockets of kindness amid seas of ignorance is so frustrating.

In conclusion, I feel life is too short to fill with anger, resentment, & spite. Politics is a barren cupboard. Choosing kindness, empathy, & quiet have an infinitely lesser toll on my lifespan. Illinois is fine; it has great sunsets.

I’m going back to bed now.

Therefore bitching on a daily basis about where I live & cultivate/reiterate reasons to loathe Illinois feels like such an incredible waste of time & energy. I quietly support local businesses & artists, occasionally dabble in community things. I vote & donate accordingly. Hate is such a chore.

So on a micro level, since I can’t become a stone or a tree, I choose to pursue contentment, rest, & the mundane bright sides of simple pleasures & pursuits. My duty to keep an open mind & think critically have a non-negotiable “not taking this too seriously” clause. Act right, be kind, etc.

There’s always a fly in every human ointment. We defy & exploit the natural world to an extent that dooms us to extinction well before our own devices, & our favorite pastime is killing/hating one another for reasons so petty that it virtually negates our perceived evolved intelligence. We suck.

If I could magically move to the magical land of no taxes and politics, I’m either going to another country or another planet. I don’t speak a second language (wish I did though), & every state/country on earth has drawbacks, be it government, weather, infrastructure, economy, etc. It’s all a mess.

I don’t have guns (but appreciate them from a low key self-defense perspective), & it feels so stupid to wake up angry over state government. It’s bad enough that MAGA infects life on a passive near-hourly basis; why spare a thought on Illinois politics?

All politics/cians are corrupt by nature.

I get that there’s a lot of reasons to not like being here: taxes ARE rough, weather is turbulent, state gov is historically crooked, and Chicago dictates policy.

But I was born here; my family, job, memories are here. I’m OK with the weird weather & survive every tax season.

Me, living in Illinois: good morning

Other Illinoisans: taxes too high, “urban” welfare queens, too much tax, pritzker fat, corrupt government, taxes so high, my guns are my guns, worst state, hate it here, taxes wtf, gun tax, fat

Me: oh

It's certainly not about race at all. It's about taxes and hoarding their wealth.

I hate to say it, but I wouldn't be surprised if 98% of active NFL players are HUGE MAGA stans.

It makes me so sad that these idiots have so much money and power and influence, and so outwardly endorse this evil fuckwagon.

Batman TAS, however, was something truly special. Fewer times in my childhood do I remember being as excited for anything more than the feeling I felt after watching the first commercial for BTAS.

The 1960s Batman TV series was great for a little kid, and the intro animation always hyped me up.

I was rejected for a leadership retreat and felt pretty bad about it, but then saw the rejection email ended with an inspiring Maya Angelou quote and felt so much better.

Nothing brings a person up like the email version of those corporate motivation posters of nature and shit.

Savor the salty crunch of a big tit

This kid is expendable

This might be the greatest split-screen ever broadcast.

They’ll play this in museums in future.

(🎥 LCI 🇫🇷)

RFK Jr. Urges Americans To Grow Lots Of Pubes To Keep Bugs From Crawling In Cockhole

RFK Jr. Urges Americans To Grow Lots Of Pubes To Keep Bugs From Crawling In Cockhole https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-urges-americans-to-grow-lots-of-pubes-to-keep-bugs-from-crawling-in-cockhole/

Our president and entire government leadership is a toxic combination of dunces, sycophants, and ghouls. Those parents probably did their part to vote them in.

Their tech knowledge is also extremely circumspect. They may have had chops once upon a time, but they reach their positions via either nepotism, bullying, money, or being evil shitheads.

Fun Corn Fact: During the Civil War, confederate soldiers occasionally got so hungry they would pick the undigested corn out of human/horse manure for survival.

The pill expands into a temporary tube that holds your airway open as you sleep. Sea monkeys nobly work to maintain their structural integrity for 6-8 hours before collapse, and sadly, their demise.

I've had this chronic, postinfectious wet cough for like a month now. Super, super over this. I feel terrific otherwise.

Going to chug boiled honey and will report back.

I always think heavily on the Batman and Marquis de Sade connection

“Holdup — better make those picks conditional.”

approaching levels of We’re Back previously thought impossible

As long as anyone’s willing to wait in line, there should be a ten-mile queue to punch this buffoon in the sack.