Listen, I’m not a romantic but every business person who says “Interesting, but how do you scale it up?” should be flayed and left out for ravens.
05.03.2026 06:26
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Listen, I’m not a romantic but every business person who says “Interesting, but how do you scale it up?” should be flayed and left out for ravens.
It’s working. Now I can tell they’re picturing me exactly the way they should.
Yelling to everyone on the beach that my stomach doesn’t usually look like this I just have to poop.
One of these guys.
An eel that looks like it was trying to surprise you.
Gentlemen, it’s Women’s History Month, so maybe take the initiative and explain what that is.
A plumber saw me picking out pipe at the hardware store and asked if I wanted to hire him for the project. When I said no thank you, he offered me his card saying, “In case things don’t go smoothly.” Well I hope he realizes I shredded his card right outside and now my bathroom is completely fucked.
I don’t know who decided on Iran but I wish we could figure out how to get them to Ran to the Polls!
I would never implicate myself like that. Just in case he ever goes missing.
On the New York City snowball fight
www.kenklippenstein.com/p/who-are-th...
It’s wonderful to finally see representation in the industry for boys like me: a huge piece of shit.
i keep seeing billionaire tech bros obsessed with looking younger and younger every year and all I can think is "oh like a picture of Dorkian Grey"
Then it took a few more centuries of importing tomato plants before they even realized they were safe to eat. Italians were afraid they were poisonous because they’re nightshades.
Dunkin Donuts: Sorry, we’re out of chocolate glazed.
Me: [about to lose it] No Mark, save this feeling. Use it for your art.
ICE doing forced collaborations for clout.
Trying to avoid ai like some people try to avoid plastics and finding myself with the same horrific failure rate.
The movie Hook led me to believe there would be a great childhood memory wipe at some point in my 40s and yet I still know the first and last names of everyone in my second grade class.
Justice Department Excited to Finally Catch Up On Knight of the Seven Kingdoms.
And if you don’t need a baby you can still get a free bassinet.
If you go at the right time of night, sometimes the fire department will put a free baby outside their station.
“Let’s not debate who suffered more” Is a thing you say in a relationship when the other person definitely suffered more and you both know it.
It’s times like these when Donald really wishes he had a shoulder to cry on from his best friend, Jeffrey Epstein
Monster Mash, and open the routine pantomiming exasperation like they put on the wrong song again before just shrugging and going with it
Cullen is one of the funniest writers I know. It’s not hyperbole when I say this will likely be the funniest tv show of the past hundred thousand years.
The funniest part of all this is imagining them pouring over the contact sheet with the photographer and deciding on this one for public consumption.
Your dad and your uncle about to drive the fan boat close enough to a deer to tackle it.
[Appleauding with my bear hands]
Hey, if you’re feeling down just remember that life is not a journey, it’s a race. And this post is a trap to keep you reading while I dust your ass.
Coastal sea wolf. You’re funny and great. Does a sea wolf even count?
