Ruby Fan Account

I sold the Lexus today

Finding it really hard to give a shit about the insta huns in Dubai posting about how "scary" it is atm.
Sorry your boozy brunch in the tax-free compound was interrupted 🤷

My newest ick is people saying they "asked chat gbt"
Bad enough you're using AI to figure out how to wipe your own arse but you also can't even call it the right name?
You're an embarrassment x

And to top it all off, he THEN had to go back to Limerick with me to find wherever my car was abdoned on someone's driveway, and then he changed my tyre ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

4 hours later, he's still sat in reception, defending me from death threats from a local lunatic, alongside our head of security and our head chef, and 2 members of the Gardai.

He deserves a prize for putting up with me x

I'm in work all of 10 minutes, I got him breakfast for his troubles so we're having a coffee together when the phone rings. Bit of a dodgy guest.
Says I, will you please wait around for 5 minutes for this interaction to finish, this fella is coming back to the hotel and I don't trust him.

Blew my tyre out on Saturday night on a back road in Limerick.
Says I, I'll have to drive Himself's Audi to work at 5.30am Sunday morning.
No diesel in the Audi. 0km range.
Says he, take my van. NOT A PRAYER OF ME DRIVING A WORK VAN FROM LIMERICK TO TRALEE AT 6AM.
He drives me to work.

Unfortunately, resting and rehab work have both worked for my bad knee.

I hate it when men are correct.

And you think you've signed into everything, when all of a go tobann, you're trying to check out in Tesco and you need a bastarding password for your clubcard.

Getting a new phone is all fun and games until you realise just how many passwords you need to carry out your day to day life.

Ah lads, I'm SO sad for Lorna Luxe 😭

Cant wait to become an expert in all Winter Game events, three minutes after learning they exist.

Me: What the hell is curling anyway?

Me, 5 minutes later: If Canada doesn't guard the house more effectively then Norway can burn a rock from the hog line and still take the win.

Himself's little cousin had a kiddies digital/Polaroid camera at the wedding last weekend and she's taken maybe the best picture of me to ever exist?

I went in for some orange nails to go with my outfit for this weekend's wedding.

Came out with the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

None of them are mine!! They're all belonging to himself 🫠 he's unfortunately a very nice and likeable guy with a lot of friends around marriage-age.

I have at least 3 this year plus a baby shower next month.

As DJ Khaled himself would say...

Another one.

I have to struggle through until Thursday.

I have a wedding on Saturday but I need to wash my hair like today or yesterday...
This is criminal.

God forbid, if I die tragically and I see you fuckers releasing balloons in my memory, I'll come back and haunt every single fuckin one of yous for all that nonsense plastic waste.

And don't go making any fuckin true crime podcasts about me either. I'm not your clickbait content.

I will hunt them for sport.

He knew he had international new outlets publishing their story!!!!! What a fucking idiot.

My jaw literally hit the floor!!!!

Bad enough that Sean Rooney CHEATED on Theresa, knowing full well that international news outlets had published their story... WHO THE FUCK DID HE CHEAT WITH?! BECAUSE I'M READY TO THROW FISTS AT ANYONE AND EVERYONE.

Perks of your boyfriend being a lorry mechanic is he'll teach you how to flash your lights at lorry drivers so they'll flash their lights back at you.
A Mercedes lorry with a full face of lights nearly blinded me saying hello this evening. Unbelievable.

My parallel parking today, upon further review, was more along the lines of perpendicular parking.

And I'm okay with that because I'm sure I have some redeeming qualities somewhere. If I look deep enough.

Unfortunately, I did so much washing today I had to pay to use 2 industrial machines instead of the washing machine at home.
My logic when I got home was to dump it all out and that'd make me fold it and tidy it all away "later"

It is now "later"

🫠

Seafield was gorgeous... But do you know what else is gorgeous?
Amaretto Sours.
We need to Make Amaretto Sours Great Again.

Yes!