Sarah Boyle

I envisioned a monumentally huge pair of old-fashioned-looking calipers grabbing the Earth by each of the tropics and tweaking it.

If you sit on the Aldi until it goes numb it feels like a whole different store

We're becoming such an old couple. Splitting a single entree and the seeing a matinee. Probably in bed by ten.

I'm just waiting for the first AI brain implant to come out and all these folks will line up for their lobotomy

The dealership I bought my EV from keeps sending me postcards begging me to trade it in toward one of their gas models and, um...nope.

A magazine cover titled "How to Hack Your Life with ChatGPT."

I was not quite curious enough to find out how AI was going to "organize my home" to actually open this rag.

Red lights too. I've had so many drivers zip around me when I stop for a light that has just gone from yellow to red. They seem to think if no one going the other direction is in the intersection yet, they're good to go.

I'm autistic and when someone does not owe me an explanation I try to remind myself of E.B. White's great line, "I must decline, for secret reasons."

Every tradesperson should have a line item for "client asked a chatbot" on their invoices.

Right? This just reframes the conversation to be about passing, which is another way trans people are discriminated against.

The one where Indiana Jones fights the huge German dude who then gets shredded in the plane propeller. Keep the propeller bit.

You forgot "write instructions that look plausible but are wrong"

A different furniture warehouse has ruined the gorgeous mountain view from the IKEA cafeteria in Las Vegas.

Sometimes I say "use your words" to mine.

They can't do anything. The US didn't sign on to the Rome Statute and we already have laws on the books stating our intention to respond with force if anyone tries to bring Americans to justice in the ICC. It's a damn shame.

I hate to break it to you but plenty of our military personnel love the idea of killing other people's children.

It's in the neighborhood of 70% of all teen pregnancies. And teens who are having sex with older men are much more likely to become pregnant than teens who are having sex with people their own age.

In the US, statutory rape laws vary by state.

Not impossible, of course, and I admit it didn't even occur to me. The majority of teen pregnancies are fathered by someone over the age of 20.

Absolutely correct, and it didn't even occur to me. The majority of teen pregnancies are fathered by someone over the age of 20, however.

It does not.

If this is legitimately why young men vote a certain way, the solution is not to cater to these incredibly stupid ideas. It is to figure out why young men think these things are good and educate them to the contrary.

I'd argue with the writer that any pregnant child under the age of consent is pregnant because of rape.

That doesn't sound very consumer capitalist of them 🙄

We found out pretty recently that our local power company has been overcharging people for years, and now they're being pretty wishy-washy about whether they'll pay that back...

I ran out of spoons before I finished my errands.

All the locations with an Ulta counter have to offer drag makeovers

Excel is the program that hates you just as much as you hate it.

We bought my laptop because it is a heavy duty gaming PC, and it runs massive games with no problems. A 400 page Word document, however, makes it chug.

It took me way too long to figure out that this was why "this policy will also hurt lots of cis people" wasn't working. They *want* to hurt cis people too, because then they can say "well if trans people just stopped existing we wouldn't have to enact policies that also hurt cis people."