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Martha Kelly

@marthakelly

You might know me from stand up, Baskets, Euphoria, or calling people cunts on Twitter. Sorry.

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03.07.2023
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Latest posts by Martha Kelly @marthakelly

I think they might have better luck spending two thousand dollars holding a press conference where they detail who made the key decisions to collaborate with the Trump administration, how and when they were fired, and explaining what would stop that from happening again.

06.03.2026 13:16 πŸ‘ 7152 πŸ” 1539 πŸ’¬ 197 πŸ“Œ 46

"I just wanted to call me co-worker a 'pussy', I didn't want this..."

06.03.2026 15:23 πŸ‘ 18 πŸ” 8 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

Even if it takes years, we have to bring EVERYONE who made this happen to justice. No moving on, no letting this go.

Revenge is good enough motivation for me personally, but the nobler and important reason is to ensure that anyone who thinks of doing this again knows they’ll rot in prison for it.

06.03.2026 15:09 πŸ‘ 2148 πŸ” 580 πŸ’¬ 11 πŸ“Œ 15

Let me be clear: I’m glad Kristi Noem was fired. But we still have to abolish ICE.

05.03.2026 18:56 πŸ‘ 14762 πŸ” 2648 πŸ’¬ 305 πŸ“Œ 119

it is kinda wild to me how most Republicans in Congress almost got themselves lynched running their mouths about 2020, and proceeded to forget all about it roughly 3 hours later

05.03.2026 18:57 πŸ‘ 659 πŸ” 117 πŸ’¬ 10 πŸ“Œ 3

Rest now, Kristi. We have the watch. I'll see you at CPAC Tallahassee

05.03.2026 19:17 πŸ‘ 88 πŸ” 7 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0
ICE Agent Injured After Repeatedly Trying To Detain People In Neighborhood Mural

ICE Agent Injured After Repeatedly Trying To Detain People In Neighborhood Mural

ICE Agent Injured After Repeatedly Trying To Detain People In Neighborhood Mural https://theonion.com/ice-agent-injured-after-repeatedly-trying-to-detain-people-in-neighborhood-mural/

04.03.2026 21:00 πŸ‘ 2294 πŸ” 331 πŸ’¬ 22 πŸ“Œ 7
Preview
Trump Live Updates: DHS Secretary Kristi Noem Testifies for Second Day

Breaking News: Lawmakers voted to subpoena Attorney General Pam Bondi to testify about the investigation of Jeffrey Epstein. The vote, 24 to 19 with five Republicans joining all Democrats, marked a rare case of a Republican-led panel compelling a member of the president’s cabinet to testify.

04.03.2026 21:15 πŸ‘ 435 πŸ” 87 πŸ’¬ 35 πŸ“Œ 14

anti-trans Dems ate shit last night

04.03.2026 12:01 πŸ‘ 8506 πŸ” 1154 πŸ’¬ 56 πŸ“Œ 175
orange cat looking offended

orange cat looking offended

whenever he is sitting around looking upset we've started calling him "Upsetti Spaghetti, the Italian cat" and i'm pretty sure it just makes him madder

23.02.2026 16:48 πŸ‘ 3295 πŸ” 297 πŸ’¬ 59 πŸ“Œ 13

of the two articles currently circulating about Sheri’s Ranch which feature Jupiter Jetson, this one is way more worth your time. there is a fascinating and important story in the unfolding workers’ rights movement in Nevada’s legal brothels that will resonate with anyone who’s been a contractor

26.02.2026 18:55 πŸ‘ 1655 πŸ” 582 πŸ’¬ 4 πŸ“Œ 0

don’t wait until the last minute

04.03.2026 17:49 πŸ‘ 56 πŸ” 33 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Oops I did it again (got tangled in my neighbor’s wind chimes)

04.03.2026 04:33 πŸ‘ 152 πŸ” 25 πŸ’¬ 4 πŸ“Œ 2

This obviously very stupid but is it also smart? We’ll talk to some liars after this break.

01.03.2026 00:23 πŸ‘ 4175 πŸ” 743 πŸ’¬ 10 πŸ“Œ 13
Post image

NEW: Four federal judges have formed a firewall against ICE in West Virginia β€” and say they’ll punish state and federal officials of they continue detaining people in ways they have ruled illegal and unconstitutional.

www.politico.com/news/2026/03...

01.03.2026 12:44 πŸ‘ 8759 πŸ” 2597 πŸ’¬ 122 πŸ“Œ 121

This reminds me of that Frankie Boyle joke about how Americans not only come to your country and kill your people, they also come back twenty years later to make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers sad.

01.03.2026 05:21 πŸ‘ 5259 πŸ” 1286 πŸ’¬ 24 πŸ“Œ 12
Preview
We Support Protesting Against Any Authoritarian Government Except Our Own β€œPresident Trump called on Iranians on Tuesday to keep protesting against their government and warned that those responsible for killing demonstrat...

"No peaceful demonstrator should ever be killed for standing up to their government. Unless, of course, they’re a suburban mom in an SUV that’s driving away from law enforcement."

28.02.2026 14:45 πŸ‘ 311 πŸ” 86 πŸ’¬ 3 πŸ“Œ 4

things every single republican president of your lifetime has done

- started a war in the middle east
- completely destroyed the economy

28.02.2026 14:20 πŸ‘ 26257 πŸ” 8885 πŸ’¬ 288 πŸ“Œ 334
26.02.2026 01:47 πŸ‘ 118 πŸ” 8 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

As of tonight, licenses of trans people across Kansas are being invalidated en masse, enabling the overnight criminalization of an entire group of people for going about our lives. It’s often said you never know when you’re living through history, so let me assure you: that’s what’s happening now.

26.02.2026 01:30 πŸ‘ 10825 πŸ” 5233 πŸ’¬ 86 πŸ“Œ 338
Preview
Kansas Sends Letters To Trans People Demanding The Immediate Surrender Of Drivers Licenses "The legislature did not include a grace period."

This is bigotry, pure and simple.

open.substack.com/pub/erininth...

26.02.2026 01:22 πŸ‘ 3950 πŸ” 1162 πŸ’¬ 145 πŸ“Œ 147

Seems to me like we ought to be centering Black disabled folks right now, from the BAFTAs to Newsom's remarks...

23.02.2026 15:44 πŸ‘ 125 πŸ” 16 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

they are willing to spend billions of dollars to round up people illegally rather than make it legal to pay people to live and exist normally

that's how evil this administration is

always remember that

22.02.2026 17:58 πŸ‘ 60 πŸ” 13 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
SAM ALTMAN: What no one understands is that no one at the beach can stop you from scooping up as many shells as you want. An endless well of seashells for the taking.

INTERVIEWER: Mhm.

ALTMAN: Look I have a bunch in my pocket right here.

INTERVIEWER: Wow that's incredible. And they're all already crushed up too.

SAM ALTMAN: What no one understands is that no one at the beach can stop you from scooping up as many shells as you want. An endless well of seashells for the taking. INTERVIEWER: Mhm. ALTMAN: Look I have a bunch in my pocket right here. INTERVIEWER: Wow that's incredible. And they're all already crushed up too.

ALTMAN: Yes well I crushed them. They didn't start crushed. I took them home and then I crushed them.

INTERVIEWER: Mhm. Mhm.

ALTMAN: You can eat them. I eat them everyday. That's why I crush them. Here have a taste.

INTERVIEWER: Wow these are great. It feels like eating teeth.

ALTMAN: Right? Human teeth. Isn't it incredible? I died in 2023.

ALTMAN: Yes well I crushed them. They didn't start crushed. I took them home and then I crushed them. INTERVIEWER: Mhm. Mhm. ALTMAN: You can eat them. I eat them everyday. That's why I crush them. Here have a taste. INTERVIEWER: Wow these are great. It feels like eating teeth. ALTMAN: Right? Human teeth. Isn't it incredible? I died in 2023.

Extremely revealing details in this interview

22.02.2026 17:27 πŸ‘ 2068 πŸ” 305 πŸ’¬ 48 πŸ“Œ 9
Another sighting of the Loch Ness dog

Another sighting of the Loch Ness dog

Another sighting of the Loch Ness dog

19.02.2026 23:13 πŸ‘ 515 πŸ” 82 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 2
Preview
Exclusive | OpenAI Employees Raised Alarms About Canada Shooting Suspect Months Ago The ChatGPT maker opted against informing Canadian authorities about Jesse Van Rootselaar’s descriptions of violence last June.

OpenAI employees pushed for the company to inform Canadian police about a user they thought would engage in real-world violence months before the person did just that, killing eight people in a horrific attack in Tumbler Ridge.

The company only reached out to police after the shooting had occurred.

22.02.2026 02:18 πŸ‘ 908 πŸ” 393 πŸ’¬ 6 πŸ“Œ 61
Raygun

Raygun

Winter Olympics end tomorrow, only 2 years until Summer Olympics!

22.02.2026 03:10 πŸ‘ 29 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
DoJ cases against protesters keep collapsing as officers’ lies are exposed in court String of embarrassing defeats for prosecutors as experts condemn DoJ effort to cast people as β€˜violent perpetrators’

A MN protester accused of assaulting ICE officer had case dropped after vids showed no assault.

LA protester accused of assaulting ICE w/ β€œhat” had case dropped; judge said govt acted in β€œbad faith”

In Chicago, 92 ppl were arrested for assault/impeding ICE; 0 convicted

DOJ keeps lying and losing:

21.02.2026 21:22 πŸ‘ 5889 πŸ” 2146 πŸ’¬ 117 πŸ“Œ 107

Emerald Fennell think she Sofia Coppola, Sofia Coppola think she Francis Ford Coppola, Francis Ford Coppola think he the Hamburglar

21.02.2026 03:00 πŸ‘ 1926 πŸ” 270 πŸ’¬ 4 πŸ“Œ 16
Preview
Diva! Conspiracy Girlies! (w. Karen Kilgariff + Martha Kelly) Podcast Episode Β· Brief Recess: A Legal Podcast with Michael Foote & MΓ©lissa Malebranche Β· 02/19/2026 Β· 1h 12m

podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/d...

19.02.2026 17:05 πŸ‘ 10 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 1