hilaria

Celebrate thanks

Ahem you also MET YOUR WIFE

I sat in 208 a few times when I was finding my way in the TA. My friend Jenny and I kept messing with Simon and you just gave us what I would consider a classic Ryan look. And how can we forget "NOW KISS"? You literally helped nudge Justin and I together, and here we are. A true TA legend.

Dude just biked past me and said "I love being a liberal Portland soft boy!"

Summer is officially coming

WGWTL

Having da worst time mahalo

Justin's first time in Hawaii and 3 days in he has purchased:
2 necklaces
1 bracelet
1 Hawaiian shirt
1 wooden turtle

Happy match day #rctid

Haha that's our friend and his kid! 💚💛

A ref carding coaches when he's the one who is missing calls and lost control of the game is some real beta shit

Justin keeps updating me on the baby eagle cam status, harrowing things like "one of the chicks is missing today", and I cannot scream at him fast enough STOP TELLING ME THIS SAD SHIT I SIMPLY CANNOT TAKE IT

😌

Anyway. Today I'm packing up the car to spend a relaxing weekend in Astoria with my fiancé and dog. A lot can happen in a fucking year.

A year ago today I got a myChart message with biopsy results confirming I had a high grade type of cancer. I was panicking at home by myself in between work calls, the most scared I've ever been, just...googling oncologists & frantically messaging my PCP because that's how it all works, apparently?

SAME, they are doing retirement correctly

The Jackie's bros are tryna roofie our entire goddamn city

My parents are on a luxury train trip from BC to Toronto with limited WiFi and if that's not the place to be right now I don't know what is

Good job Anora or whatever, but justice for Red Rocket (same writer/director) starring Simon fucking Rex

My goal dust finally arrived and it's signed by Felipe 🥲 Honestly makes me a little EMOSH—last year was the worst year of my life and I missed so many matches while I was healing. Thanks, universe.

Luv when a person (always a man!) walks their *german fucking shepherd* off leash

We dined at the Happy Valley Margarita Factory last night under slight duress (family birthday party) and I've been out of the suburbs for long enough now that it felt like venturing to a horrifying foreign planet.

The boomer urge to bring a birthday cake to a restaurant

Definitely my favorite part of snow days is the "look at me and my big powerful overpriced truck/SUV" freaks who recklessly joyride around in the snow. One of them already knocked over our neighbor's garbage cans and immed drove away. Hashtag get off my lawn, hashtag I know I'm getting old, etc.

From the parents' webcam in Astoria 😬😍

We are saying goodbye to Goose in a couple hours. She's 17 and has been sick with what we're pretty sure is cancer for a couple weeks. Enjoying one last lay in the sun with her brother 😭💔❤️

David da Costa has just been hanging out in Palm Springs waiting for Evander's diaper to be changed

My Argentinian colleague says "cool as a lettuce" instead of "cool as a cucumber" and I shall be co-opting that phrase

Have a blessed day Brittany Mahomes 🫶

Finallyyyy think we found a general contractor for our remodel project(s) (and she's a lady, hell yeah). Now to design the primary bath of my dreamz 👸🏻

Sure sex is cool but have you tried being a DINK