Make up a crummy, unprincipled tech startup in a work of fiction, live to see it become an actual company somehow crummier and less principled than the one you made up because you didn’t want to be too heavy-handed.
🎵 Call my baby lobbyist / tell you why / he destroys entire nations’ infrastructure and the interests of the majority for his own profit
Lobbyist, lobbyist ooo lobby lobby lobby
LOVED this wild and terrifying novel!
Day after World Book Day, going round slapping books out of people’s hands
Sorry I'm not more open-minded about LLMs, it's just some fucking maniacs shoveled out a bunch of useless bloatware featuring that technology, did not give me any chance to opt out, reorganized the entire economy around it, zeroed out gains made by green energy, and made it impossible to buy RAM
Props to the sub for making this a perfect syllabic match for teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish I had something more substantive to say but also nothing I say could or would change anything, nor does it matter, who cares what I think, people like you and I don’t get our sentiments printed on letterhead, but I’m so furious and disgusted by all of this
‘Sorry,’ I’d say, ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be taking my boundless disappointment out on you. How absurd to not even be particularly successful and for it *still* to have turned me into a prick.’
The long-suffering festival staff would be all conciliatory like ‘Sorry we couldn’t get a bigger audience for you!’ and I’d be all, ‘Don’t patronise me!’ and they’d be like, ‘Well there’s no need to be like that!’
Tonight on Front Row we talk to the small hat men love to love
I would seriously love this!
VERY eager to do so! I think there’s something in the pipeline!
If I *was*, though, I’d be programmed against Maggie O’Farrell or someone and it would be a real waste of a ticket to Edinburgh for me.
I will not be appearing at any U.K. literary festivals this summer because they DIDN’T WANT ME. They were like, that old hack? *she’s* still going?
My new novel BLACK BAG comes out next week and here are some readings I’m doing from it.
“We earn six figures but.. are functionally illiterate”
you know, though, that if you buy like 2lbs of cheaper cuts like liver you can feed yourself for a week, right? And you can invest all your steak money!
oh wow we should contact Shelter
All job interviews now should solely focus on how good the candidate is at signing into stuff. You got a good phone? You keep it charged?
I conducted an experiment where I responded to every single email with the cry-laugh emoji. Within two weeks I’d been promoted to Dean.
I need for people to have some perspective of what it means to live in Revachol. The Débardeurs Union all live in Dubai, and so do the Hardie Boys. Semenese supremacists live here. Racist Lorry Drivers, Gary the Cryptofascist. The worlds ricest Mega Rich Light Bending Guys, Pissf****t all live here.
“Write to your MP!!!” Have you considered that I don’t *want* to write to my MP?
Possibly of the thing you’ve been explaining is bad
Having to explain why the same thing is bad over and over again until you die
*yawns*
*stretches*
I have a new book on the way! Home to My Cats, a chonky pamphlet of poems about (as the title might suggest) kittens and Taylor Swift, will be published by @brokensleepbooks.bsky.social in April 2026, and is available to preorder.
www.brokensleepbooks.com/product-page...
🙋♂️ I made a fortune shorting my own eternal damnation!
Gotta love investors
You bet I’m fun at parties?! There’s actually no reliable system of grading how fun someone is at a party that leads to results anything other than statistically negligible.
- But sir, this utterly contradicts your other publicly expressed opinions and lobbying!
- Is it *an absolute load of old shit*, though?
- Well… yes.
- Then great!
