raindro

All red and no bull

Outdated: "I can fix you"

Underrated: "I can elevate you"

they call me two joints because i always have at least that many joints

they call me two joints because i broke a lot of bones

the first boss in this game is called “trash magnet” so it’s kinda like i’m fighting myself

at least direct deposit worked already

indeed

Warning: objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

i'm not a girl not yet an asteroid floating through space and time

marry tom fuck dick kill harry

took a nap and now i’m awake

getting a vasectomy just means you have diet sperm

i just threw up in my mouth a bit

if i put my penis in a drink does that make it a cocktail?

fine i’ll listen to professional rapper

what happened to lil dicky did he run out of bar mitzvah money

i throw a barrel at him first and then run while asking the same question

when someone say idk i ask what eye loss has to do with anything

pass

if you ask me it all went downhill after we stopped pillow talking

if you ask me, it all went downhill after we stopped putting ashtrays in cars

America lost its way when we stopped putting ashtrays in vehicles

shaking ass and smoking grass

exactly

that’s not enough. muting is key

fuck yall and surgery

I love being right

“What the fuck ever” means “you’re right but I don’t want to say that out loud”.

attagirl ❤️

I’m gonna eat all these hot wings and then I’m gonna eat all those Cheetos, and then I’m gonna touch all the things