a one-man murdertwunk

don’t forget to destroy your clocks tonight, walk away from your mortgage, just start driving, you’re free

not six hundred dollars. six Thousand,

f

what if he badtouched me at the hospital in a like plausibly deniable way and I was morally culpable for both that which I did and that which I failed to do and then we went to an ARCADE and he won me cat plushies and the plushies were boyfriends and the boyfriends were us

ofdo // THE BOY

ofdo // joss's range could not be said to be broad but I've been really enjoying the shades he's mixed within the palette

ofdo // if jack got dean over his knee and really laid into him with that poster tube he would wake up the next morning to arsenic in his coffee but for one night he would experience such a perfect victory

ofdo // earth smokes like he's trying to time each drag like he would a sip from a solo cup and it is *bewitchingly* bad

ofdo // meanwhile I would put the odds that raffy took up smoking 3 weeks ago based on an ig pic jack posted and grimly coughed his way through two smokes a day just to not look like he has baby lungs when he finds his excuse to talk alone at roughly 50-50

ofdo // dean like listen all you have to do to get your man is be a *tiny* bit sociopathic. like 5 percent. it really isn't that hard just try disregarding all other perspectives and needs in the face of your own goals for like 3 hours (:

ofdo // is that the same tilly birds song from msp and cutie pie. I genuinely cannot tell

ofdo // you can either shower a straight-acting man in purchases you frantically pretend cost a third of their actual price *or* you can laugh at his atrocious impressions. you can't do both

ofdo // tua. tua baby I get why you're like this but you simply Can't be doing all that

ofdo // establishing that these two brothers are not Actual related in any bio or relationship based sense immediately before getting them in the same room. the classic rituals

ofdo // the look on his face when he realizes actually he should have played harder to get. gotten some grovelling out of him first. that boy's rate just went up

ofdo // raffy like oh thank god he texted me back I was so desperate I almost felt sexually attracted to a dj

ofdo // I'm sure this you two should be closer (: let me introduce you (: moment will not come to haunt tua's nightmares at all

ofdo // joss doesn't even fucking do it for me and even so I can't deny how well arnold is doing exactly the thing arnold is doing

ofdo // oh He Won't Be Coming (: I Saw Him Leave (: Dunno How Though Let's Not Ask Questions Time For Movie

ofdo // even while dean is trying to look cute and nonsuspicious everything he says *should* be scaring the hoes, if you are the hoes and you possess one picogram of critical thinking skills. but this hoe (jack) does not,

ofdo // nothing more theater than a newbie storming off swearing to quit because he's so unspeakably insulted that the head bitch who was always going to get the lead because of bullshit theater politics did in fact get the lead

ofdo // if anything the unhinged psychological terrorism of that casting was less bad than real life, in that tua got cut off before he could say anything he would later tell everyone in the room repeatedly was Just Being In Character

ofdo // this arnold casting scene is reminding me of that anecdote about how robert redford was supposed to be the nebbish kid in The Graduate but the director was like "think about a time in your life a girl turned you down" and he, being robert redford, genuinely could not think of one

I would like to thank not only god but also jesus that they let earth grow actual stubble this time instead of. well. you know

jack and dean fixating on what if romeo and juliet was gay to the exclusion of any other shakespeare is extremely correct for basic theater bros but I would personally saw off my left foot for an earthmix much ado about nothing

we did them already that was not me

no,

hello 9/11 I'm being chased by a homicidal coat hanger

stars: they're just like us

sand and nick's doomed see buddy we don't need those assholes we can be Independent hey we should kiss just to try it you don't know it won't work road trip. feat ray crawling into bed