Angry People in Local Newspapers

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Cambridge News: WOMAN ARRESTED DURING VIGIL FOR LOBSTERS.

One thing I learned from the classics (for eg watching NCIS) is that a lobster would eat your face given half the chance. So have a think around that.

'They threatened to take us to Birmingham' - Fog diverts flight from Norwich Airport. Picture shows a Ryanair aircraft.

Have these people not suffered enough?

The death mask of Tutankhamun in profile, with a very long chin. It is captioned JIMMY HILL.

Fylde councillor says he was hacked after calling Lytham pub a 'drug den' A town councillor has apologised to a craft beer bar after a post from his Facebook account branded it "a drug den", before claiming he…

We don’t do politics, and we would certainly never impugn the fine reputation of this gentleman, but JIMMY HILL.

Crater-like potholes a 'danger' to safety and should be fixed as 'priority' There are calls for massive potholes in Berechurch Hall Road to be sorted with concerns for the safety of motorists.

Dave “Danger” Harris is out and about again, and we are thankful.

They’re devious bastards like that.

‘Buzzing at 4am!’ - Woman in bee costume first on board Bolton bus as rule scrapped Older and disabled people in Greater Manchester can now travel free on buses at any time, with the 9.30am restriction gone - and a celebration was…

Local character KLAXON, but in the nicest way

Asian Hornets 'invading' UK town - and 'all hell will break lose' Asian hornets are hitching lifts in cars and vans travelling up

If you’re at Winchester Services (London-bound) on the M3, and you encounter a hitchhiker trying to get to Basingstoke who looks suspiciously like three Asian Hornets in a long coat, shut your damned window and DRIVE.

Accrington launches bid to become UK's 'town of culture' for 2028 The town will be up against the likes of Barnsley and Dartford

“Accrington Stanley? Oo are they?”
“Exactly”

And that is why they must win.

Famous Bolton face makes surprise visit at Horwich bakery Bolton-born TV and radio presenter Vernon Kay surprised staff with a visit to Greenhalgh’s Craft Bakery in Horwich, stopping by his hometown shop.

“Local man goes to the shops”

Anger after '6 7' scratched into the side of cars by 'children' Residents on Sebright Avenue have been left angry and frustrated after '6 7' has been keyed into a number of vehicles on the road.

Today in pointless fads: “67”

'Royal Mail was meant to collect our guitar – instead they stole all our food' EXCLUSIVE: A delivery service that had been booked to collect a guitar ended up taking off with an entire week's worth of food instead...

We don’t usually do the Express, but get a look at this compo face.

‘The A259 is becoming dangerous – road users are struggling to avoid the worst pothole’ Dangerously deep potholes are appearing across Newhaven and are not being fixed, say local Lib Dem councillors.

Banana for scale.

Croydon Advertiser: KEVIN COSTNER LOVED MY SHOP.

Croydon’s famous House of Massive Dildos. Never out of the papers with its celebrity customers.

Woman misses £1,400 TUI holiday over simple battery mistake Carol Hutchins had been looking forward to a sunny break in Fuerteventura with her daughter, but the duo's dream trip ended at Manchester Airport

Six times. They were sent the instructions six times.

'Veteran campaigners' throw a party for pothole to celebrate its eighth birthday Two "veteran pothole campaigners" have celebrated the eighth birthday of a pothole

DONE A POO.

Abingdon's Radley Road neighbours angry at parking ban to speed up buses The restrictions to parking have been made to help speed up bus journeys along the road.

BUT MY CAR.

NOTTINGHAM POST: 'NOTTS RUNNING OUT OF SPERM’.

“Write a love story in five words”

MP delighted after new tree planted to fill the ‘Harborough Hole’ Harborough MP Neil O’Brien says he is delighted a new tree has been planted to fill what he calls the ‘Harborough Hole’ - a barren patch of earth near The Square.

Great to see yer man mulching that unpromising soil in the “before” shot.

Get ‘em by the plums, Mr Mayor!

Woman refuses to remove bars to protect windows from drunken revellers A Woodbridge woman is refusing to remove window guards she had installed to protect her Grade II-listed home from drunken revellers.

Regret to report that those pencil-necked desk jockeys at the council are at it again, steadfastly enforcing rules regarding listed buildings.

INFO: PC Cumming and PCSO Tugwell will be at The Breadhouse in Chalfont St Peter on 06/03 from 1200-1300. This is an opportunity to meet your local neighbourhood team and discuss any concerns you may have. We look forward to seeing you there.

Apparently we posted this on this day in 2019, and I have managed to completely erase it from my brain until now.

“The Breadhouse in Chalfont St Peter” is absolutely the filthiest sexy slang.

'My dog saved my life by smelling my breath every day for weeks' Colleen Ferguson says she knew something was wrong when German Shepherd Inca started obsessively smelling her breath before frowning

A Nice Things post: GOOD DOG

On Facebook, this post brought out ALL the racists. This is why we cannot have nice things.

Metallica out off of very loud music.

Alternative caption: Metallica out off of very loud music are FUMMIN because their record company accidentally put out their album “Master of Puppies” as “Master of Puppets” and it’s too late to do anything about it.

Metallica out off of very loud music.

Metallica out off of very loud music are FUMMIN because those pencil-necked desk jockeys at the council refuse to do anything about poor parking management during the school run.

Black Country Live: Petrol station targeted in robbery as police ask for help to find man. Picture is CCTV grab of suspect in a hooded jacked and a planet of the apes mask.

One of the comments under this is “Surely that’s a mask?” and I fear West Midlands Police have failed to recruit a modern Sherlock Holmes.

A stone in Australia that looks like a dog.

Not me, but I did see this stone in Australia that looks like a dog.

East Anglian Daily Times headline “Ipswich: The tree that looks like Postman Pat”, 5TH MARCH 2014. A photo of a tree with scars where limbs have been cut, which somewhat resemble eyes and a nose, but in no way bear any resemblance to the cartoon postal worker. A caption says, inaccurately: “Quite un-nerving. A face in a tree trunk at Christchurch Park in Ipswich.”

Happy 12th anniversary of the day all the people of East Anglia did rise up and speak with one voice and say unto their phones “Fuck off does it”