Al Clements

Evolution is a good time

I am sort of shocked that both the outlet and the journalist seem to have thought that nothing bad would happen because, I guess, only a certain class of person has their gambling get out of hand?

Selfie of handsome light-skinned black guy with even more smug, self-satisfied grin. Just a fucking insufferable face. Also a white havanese on a pink leash

Ran into wife of neighbor who hates me because he thinks I'm sweet on his wife.

Us: *chatter, not flirting*

Her: What's that?

Me: [turns around] Oh, shit. Bigger than a bobcat

Her: Is it a mountain lion?

Me: Not sure. Jesus.

Her: You think you can walk me and [my dog] back to my house?

Me:

A cat on a sea (well estuary) wall. Hes not impressed with the breeze. A sign on the wall says danger keep off

Untameable #cat #tabby

A compromise we can all get behind surely

An old fiver with Elizabeth Fry on it. To be honest, I don’t even know if Churchill directly replaced her or if there was someone else in between, and nor do I give a shit

I was OUTRAGED when Churchill replaced my great-great-great-great-grandmother on the fiver. I DEMAND the return of Quaker social reformer Elizabeth Fry! Or maybe they just change occasionally. I know it’s one of the two, but it’s so difficult to be certain

They should put a monkey on the £50 note and a pony on the £10 note to confuse the hell out cockneys.

I'll tell you, if a woman who cared about sports had written this, it would have been taken as evidence that she didn't understand sports.

The Mariners have started their Olympics. Currently there’s a group playing “closest to the pin” taking golf swings at a ball bucket in center field. Mike Cameron is on the mic doing commentary in a sedate golf announcer voice. There are oohs and ahs for good shots and many polite golf claps.

You must have a very A's face

Can't believe we've found the one batshit culture war nonsense that is actively funny, I hope this fucking nonsense rumbles on for DAYS

I still think about this a lot.

Skosts would be even worse. Like some kind of viking disease. Skaarsgard the Blue has skösts again...

Funny is back.

BE FUNNY OR DIE will rise again.

E-book and audiobook available now…

New paperback edition next year.

Telling my cat “You’re so smart and so strong and brave” even though I know it’s not true because you gotta just gas ‘em up sometimes.

If you put waterfalls in your game and there are no caves behind any of them, your game is instantly worse than it could have been

I don't make the rules

They’re all here! Shonoway, Yamasoso, decoy — decoy is real

Team Japan has a whole group of impersonators and they’re number one seed in the Uncanny Valley WBC

Whichever daft TERF thought they were going to blackmail the kind of older woman who runs WI branches had no idea what they were getting into.

I'm not even mad. I am just confused

And, also? It’s a *terrible* look in 2026 America for a white player to refuse to shake the hand of a person of color. I ain’t interested in arguing the point with dorks who want to explain it away. It just is. What are we even doing?

All my Friends are Superheroes by Andy Kaufman is really fun, very sweet and quite short

The Red Dwarf books are very old, but very funny

Well played 👿

Is it @thatbootlegguy.bsky.social that makes A's hats look so good or are A's hats just the best hats?

Drew a few lines, and somehow four little cats appeared.

Watching them play and run around, can you believe they’re made from just a few simple strokes?

A little unruly, but already kind of adorable, right?😆
#shouxinsketch #sketch #cat

Tweet from Masterflip_: "Randy Arozarena just went off on Cal Raleigh; (Translated and written by Master Flip) How do you think I should respond to Cal Raleigh? How should I put it to him? I want to say it in four languages. First in Spanish: The only thing he should be thankful for is having such great parents. He’s very well educated, thank God. I was lucky enough to see them a few days ago at the hotel. They came over to greet me, gave me a big hug, and were genuinely proud to see me again. After that, I want to give it to him straight Cuban style: What he has to do is fuck off! Mexican style: Go to hell! And in English: That fake ass “good to see you” he hit me with? He can shove it straight up his ass. I’m out."

Marking it down: M's win 107 games and the World Series this year.

It's almost Sandy McSandface

The image is so full of life!

It made me laugh and I love word puzzles, so win-win for me 😊

Andrew O’Hagan · Stay Classy: Mummy’s Favourite The late queen can be held responsible for much, but nobody could accuse her of seeming to enjoy her role. For the...

jesus CHRIST.

www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v4...

It took me a while, but balcony is bacon-y, right?