Hardy Tales

Friday comes in with a 1000 gallons of water, a half-ton of loose soil, and a hose. "Let's make some quicksand!" #dailyaffirmation

Thursday is obviously a children's toy, but labeled as "not a children's toy" because of all the broken glass. #dailyaffirmation

Let's scrape Wednesday against the wall until it catches flame like a kitchen match. #dailyaffirmation

Tuesday is a mysterious block of cheese with a smell politely referred to as "earthy." #dailyaffirmation

Monday has the grace and dignity of a one-legged elephant on meth. #dailyaffirmation

Friday selects the wormiest, smelliest, softest rotten apples. "Take one. We're heading up to the C suite to lodge some high-velocity complaints." #dailyaffirmation

Thursday's too smart to run with scissors, but running with a knife, ice pick, or sword seems like fun. #dailyaffirmation

Wednesday is getting wrecked in this tag-team match, but its teammate is too distracted to be tagged in. #dailyaffirmation

Tuesday's poorly-insulated windows cost it billions of dollars a year in heating and cooling costs. #dailyaffirmation

Let's hold Monday's face in the scalding water until it looks like a molting lobster. #dailyaffirmation

Friday addresses an audience of shrimp-eating shareholders in $3000 suits. "You're monsters." They applaud. #dailyaffirmation

Thursday will fit perfectly in this crate if we just lop off a few limbs and stick 'em in sideways. #dailyaffirmation

Wednesday rusts at the bottom of the lake, its toxins slowly seeping into the fish. #dailyaffirmation

Don't look Tuesday in the eye, or it will think you are its mother, and come hound you for food. #dailyaffirmation

Let's double-dog dare Monday to eat that thing on the floor we found when moving the fridge. #dailyaffirmation

"Eh, forget about work," says Friday, patting the couch beside it. "We're watching this now." #dailyaffirmation

Thursday is as essential to the week as toothpaste is to a chicken. #dailyaffirmation

Wednesday has eaten all its crayons, and now has nothing with which to write its manifestos. #dailyaffirmation

Tuesday is just a little too enthusiastic about sticking live bait on the fish hook. #dailyaffirmation

Let's force Monday to smoke a whole carton of cigarettes - not as a lesson, but as a vector for lung cancer. #dailyaffirmation

A photo of a tabling set up at a zine festival - featuring booklets in abolition, consent, counter-narrative masculinity, spoken word poetry, getting ICE out of MN and more. Also: whistles, stickers, MPD150 reports and poetry chapbooks.

All set up at the Twin Cities Zine Festival at MPLS central library. Zines on abolition, consent, ICE OUT resources, counter-narrative masculinity and more, PLUS MPD150 reports, whistles, and some surprises. All free.

If you can’t be there, digital versions of my zines are at guante.info/zines

Friday skids to a stop in front of us. "Get in! We're going to eat popcorn and watch the drama unfold!" #dailyaffirmation

Let's make Thursday assemble 1000 Ikea shelves using a miniature allen wrench and no instructions. #dailyaffirmation

Wednesday stands behind a podium and disdainfully lies to the press, but no one's buying it. #dailyaffirmation

Let's wind Tuesday so tightly, a sudden jolt will snap its springs. #dailyaffirmation

If you surround your house with salt, Monday can't get inside. #dailyaffirmation

Friday chugs up on a steam-powered velocipede. "You steer! I'm going to get in back and shovel coal!" #dailyaffirmation

Let's plant Thursday head-first in the garden and see what fruits it produces. #dailyaffirmatio

Let's see how much radiation Wednesday can absorb before it begins to glow. #dailyaffirmation

Tuesday is a spare tire that somehow goes flat while sitting in the trunk. #dailyaffirmation