The Unahugger

(Standing up to leave the bar): Well, better quit while I’m a- (points to my head) head

Congrats on the beautiful home hope closing goes smoothly!

Heard somewhere they are highly social and have different individual roles within the school 😍😢

Apple music liner notes describe this as “dizzying Teutonic trance”

Glad to help.

100%

This could be a real opportunity for me

Of course 🤠🦈 would chime in on delightful emojis

After all these years, I remain delighted by emojis

I’m backstabbing your ass

Well, my worst nightmare has come true: I’m a kid again and there’s a dinosaur chasing me through my old elementary school

My buddy Johnny-Come-Lately has been coming a lot lately

Ran out of powdered gatorade

Finished work an hour early. Now to get stoned out me gourd and bike 40 miles. False spring, baby

Mumbo jumbo <<<

26 February happens only once a year—once on leap years

Didn’t ask, your honor

My dog has some beliefs that are outside of the mainstream

My dog has some interesting opinions on the doordash vs cooking dynamic

My dog has solipsistic tendencies

My dog has an inflated sense of self-importance

I’m inferring your schema. I’m inferring the hell out of your schema

Smart

Would you accept bribes to rig the games

I know you already got an answer but in my culture this is a serious faux-pas

Weatherdoxxing myself by posting about the weather where I live

That one mate who has gone and lost the plot

I’m 100 million billion billion dollars in the hole

As if this Monday couldn’t get any worse, I’ve run over Derpina with my car 😟