Paint

My life is nothing but a Pepe greentext.

The man who murdered my family would probably only get 1 star for that in GTA, so I've decided to forgive him.

a close up of a dog looking at the camera with a clock in the background ALT: a close up of a dog looking at the camera with a clock in the background

My film teatcher just assigned a 2 hour movie in black and white...

a woman with a shaved head is being interviewed by a reporter for the national board of review ALT: a woman with a shaved head is being interviewed by a reporter for the national board of review

Attention spans are so bad that it's now considered "boring" to wait in line at the DMV or spend 45 years in prison... 🤨

This is Paint's dad, logging on here to share some sad news:

Last night, as my son was driving home from work, there was a deadly car accident which unfortunately didn't involve him at all.

Everyone please pray for my son's early and gruesome demise! 💐

Same energy.

Sean "Diddy" Combs will voice Baby Yoshi and sing a song in the Super Mario Galaxy Movie.

Source: Nintendo

I suspect my penny collection will be worth millions very soon.

This is my first Halloween as a Catholic, so tonight I'm handing out the Body of Christ.

Just gave one to a trick-or-treater and somehow he INSTANTLY knew what it was. 😂 Based kid.

NYC's mayoral election is already suppressing voters. 🙃

I kept up with every debate and poll only to find out I can't vote. All because I've never actually been to America.

Just overheard a fat guy talking about food. You can't make this stuff up. 😂

BREAKING:

Donald Trump makes his first public appearance in days, cryptically instructing Americans to "hold the mayonnaise." 😨

As a Midwesterner, I never realized how weird our slang is until I moved to NYC...

Whenever I bump into someone, I instinctively go "Oops!"

Everyone always gets SO confused! 😂

I invented an image called "Pepe Gillis."

It combines Pepe and Shane Gillis.

NEVER give money to the homeless—they'll just waste it on something cheap.

I just realized why nobody criticizes Mr. Beast: 424 million subscribers. That's a thousand shooters on every block in America.

Fuck with his operation and you're chalked.

In a display of great strength and bravery, President Trump just announced he will spend all night inside a haunted castle! 🔥

Fuck no.

We want Shane Gillis and Sydney Sweeney! 🇺🇸

My Deltarune theory is that it takes place in an Undertale universe corrupted by worse writing and overly self-indulgent humor, which often comes at the expense of immersion. 😲

I'm so sick of everyone online being afraid to criticize this guy.

Lowe's just linked up with Mr. Beast, which makes sense as he is the world's biggest tool.

#RoastBeast

Arthur meme I made to cheer myself up after losing a patient.

I hope this doesn't sound mean but I kind of think everyone stupid enough to be manipulated by this video should be banished to an Antarctic research facility and experimented on for the rest of eternity.

Coworkers are mad I used the break room microwave to heat up some poop. ☹️

16 YEARS of studying and nobody will hire us... It really makes me regret all those sleepless nights I spent cramming in elementary school.

The Minions are savage barbarians and Gru was right to enslave them.

My Dad remarried 2 times—wait, FUCK! You didn't want that! Wait, no! I'm sorry! Damn it, I fucked it all up! I always fuck EVERYTHING UP! NO!!! NO! NO! NO! GOD DAMN IT! FUCK MY LIFE! I RUIN FUCKING EVERYTHING! NO! GOD DAMN IT! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! OH MY GOD, FUCK EVERYTHING!

I feel betrayed. Jet Set Radio taught me everything I know about making disgusting terrible artwork.

Apparently this theory is Pixar's darkest secret. 🤔