Riley Abrahamson Twitter Archive

Sorry I wasn't around yesterday, I kept getting these weird calls...

I don't know if this comparison makes sense to literally anyone else but Joker: Folie à Deux is like the film version of Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number

I think the most embarrassing thing at work isn't like a release going poorly, it's when you make a funny meeting room status and no one joins the room

Y'all ever notice how Meghan Trainor's "Me Too" (2016)'s baseline kinda sounds like a worm throwing it back

I need someone to gently hold my hand and tell me I don't NEED the Slay the Spire: The Board Game, Collector's Edition with character minis and deck playmats included

Look I'm not the coolest cat around or anything but I wake up every morning grateful that I never had a "toothpick in the mouth for character" phase

Wait there's HOW much sugar in Gatorade??? We gotta stop giving this to athletes man they're gonna have heart palpitations!

In honor of the 4th, outdoor cooking methods ranked by how annoying the cooks are, least-to-most annoying :

1. BBQ
2. Smoking
3. Grilling (Propane)
4. Grilling (Charcoal)
5. Blackstones

Dog I haven't gotten sunburnt in years I was reapplying like every 20 minutes YOOOUCHH

What if Fromsoft games had a "FUN" stat and it stood for Funny and you could use it on weapons like clown noses and whipped-cream pies and win fights by being a silly lil guy

Like, I get it's a big deal and all, but folks it's been a goddamn weekend could we cool it with the SotE chatter on main?

"No you don't get it bro it's not STR/FTH 'as one of the chosen worthy, you dirty blasphemers will kneel before my Lord', its STR/FTH 'by my indomitable human spirit, my strength of character, my belief in my self, you will be defeated' we got THEMES here bro catchup"

Buying Balatro right before Shadows of the Erdtree was a m i s t a k e

One of my hottest web-dev takes: I hate when date labels just give a range like "2 years ago". It makes tracking down actual publication and upload dates that much more frustrating, and a lot of the time knowing WHEN something was made is important! Context matters!

Why every ambience track online gotta be 1 hour I know how to loop a track that's too much bandwidth for a bunch of people talking at a murmur

Oh my God the Fallout TV show folks THE FALLOUT TV SHOW

If programmer disciplines were RPG classes, p sure Web Devs would be Warlocks

If you ever have a falling out with a Midwestern-er, just go over to their house and pour out the 5-year-old bottle of pure Canadian maple syrup they have in their fridge

Okay but what if instead of a faucet we just had these in our showers

As a thought experiment I've been trying to come up with shooters that wouldn't be improved by adding in a Market Garden and I literally can't come up with a single one

I'm about to lose it I decided to order delivery (which I never do) only because I got an email coupon for free delivery this weekend. Loaded up the pizzas, checked-out AND I FORGOT TO ADD THE COUPON

Blows my mind that we still use "ladies and gentlemen" in professional contexts when everyone could just opt into the more inclusive "CHAAAAAAMPIONS, WELCOME TO THE RADAHN FESTIVAL"

Finally wrapped Wonder tonight! Played through it 2p co-op, and it's my favorite 2D Mario yet! Absolute delight every step along the way; such a musical game! Would highly recommend

My Discord bot side project has officially cracked 1000 servers! 🎉

Do you think there's an alternate reality where they call it Gathering the Magic

Discussing deep FNAF lore with my partner:
"So yeah this is the one with mpreg MatPat"
"Wait, what's mpreg??"

One short Google later:
"Man, women can't have anything"

I'm surprised no browser has ever tried to add a "Scroll To Top" flyover button as just a built-in feature. While I know is pretty trivial to implement and most sites do so, I wonder if it could be useful feature for the standard person

Had a really fun online Halloween Party tonight AND we had a record number of trick-or-treat-ers! We even made them lil goodie bags to take home!

Finally carved out some time to finish Elden Ring! First character ended up as a classic Claymore user with the dragon incantations. Absolutely wonderful final stretch of bosses, SO excited for the DLC now that I'm all caught up!

Got reminded about the Dark Souls 2 gender coffin