Maggie Wiggin

He’s polling at 0 in the third grade

Noem looking forward to spending more time murdering her family’s pets

My 11 year old asked me how to get girls and seemed very skeptical when I said “shower regularly and treat them like human beings” and yet

We should definitely help them get back there ASAP. I’ll crowdfund their flights.

Now you’ve got a contract offer from the DoD

Gonna pretend I invented slipons and have $1 billion IPO

I kept asking how these people tie their shoes in the morning, I didn’t think they would invent a shoe-tying machine that doubles my electricity bill.

“I need an AI to make cereal” makes more sense now

Whenever conservative parties win, they typically try to see just how far to the right they can go before everyone turns on them. Whenever center-left parties win, they end up backing away from progressive policies and "moderating" in hopes of trying to appeal to people who didn't vote for them.

I had to switch to mostly glasses after a corneal injury and it ended up being an easier transition than I expected! Frames you love is essential.

This is so accurate, every one of them ends up foaming at the mouth. It’s really baffling, I’d love to see it researched

Once again @petitephd.bsky.social has achieved greatness in episode titling.

Man lifetime bans just ain’t what they used to be

Embarrassing (for the Red Sox)

Lololol does HE?

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, oh baby we’re just getting started.

Credit to sticking with the story though. He could have been like yeah whatever I took PEDs but he was 100% committed to “yeah but he promised me after the first two times that THESE supplements were allowed”

Babe, I think famously he did in fact get justice

Remember how the DoD never once passed an audit? Not sure what made me think of that.

Alt text is important for accessibility but what we don’t talk about as much is that it’s also a great opportunity for joke density

Because they’ve been salivating for this war for years and gosh darn it they’re going to enjoy every minute

I love how every picture he makes sure everyone knows this shit sucks but in a way that Trump only sees as wow mr serious man

If it would be more money for players, then the team owners begging for it are highly incentivized to share that math far and wide…I’m sure it’s coming any day now.

It’s the story of vile, violent racists attacking Black children and the story is still ongoing. The statue is there to celebrate segregation and the people cheering it on are segregationists

Profar saw the Jenrry Mejia trajectory and thought “why not me?”

What's scary about this story is the surveillance it hints at. This trans woman had changed her name, legally, but chose not to change her gender marker. She was apparently flagged in the DMV system as trans and her license was invalidated under a law that supposedly only concerned gender markers.

I think about this Tony Benn speech much more than I used to

This is not a joke: I need someone to check for a lost stuffed animal on campus at UT-Knoxville outside Thompson-Boling. DM me for details.

If you're interested, you can sign up for it here.

I'm probably a few weeks from publishing -

1986-mets-rewatch.beehiiv.com