Metropolitan Council [PARODY]

YESSSS! LET'S GOOOO I FINALLY CAN PARK MY MONSTER TRUCK ON HENNEPIN AVENUE AGAINNNN

REPORTING LIVE IN ST. PAUL: @metrotransit-fake.bsky.social has reportedly been born at Union Depot station. TRIP Agents are monitoring the situation closely.

More at 9. Back to you in the studio, Janet.

THE NORTHSTAR IS DEAD DEAD

Due to Daiso's grand opening opening today in Woodbury, the Gold Line BRT will be converted to light rail through next sunday 😊🚈💛

Last year in Minnesota there were 151 traffic deaths in the three months between Memorial Day and Labor Day. If cars were guns, that's enough death to get us labeled "Murdersota."

Sorry, I need to drive my gigantic monster truck down this street every day, mb

The Northstar doesn't seem to be shining brightly...

Who needs that St. Cloud extension and 30-minute frequencies of trains anyway 😊😛

www.metrotransit.org/northstar

Don't worry, Green Line riders, we'll be allocating funds to improve speed and reliability

Here's our action plan to improve the Green Line:

- Retractable spikes to deter drivers from impeding trains
- Increasing speed limits to 110mph
- Removing the Stadium Village diversion
- Anything but TSP

Neither do our highways 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♀️

⚠️GOLD! GOLD! GOLD!⚠️

A new gold deposit has been discovered in Minnesota!!

Metro Transit is opening the METRO Gold Line Saturday morning to bring Californians to the east metro

Driving is so unsafe! We do not need any more of it.... 🙅‍♂️They are a waste of taxpayer dollars, noisy, polluting, destructive, and expensive 😡

What a complete disaster.

2 minutes later and buses are on the ground again, light rail is still superior 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

this aged like fine milk, drink up 🥶

I want to thank myself for spending:

- $715.3 million on the Blue Line
- $317 million on the Northstar
- Nearly $1 billion on the Green Line
- $2.86 billion on the Green Line Extension
- About to spend $3.2 billion on the Blue Line Extension

bc metro transit buses aren't running but rail is fine

Metro Transit bus service was suspended due to dangerous road conditions due to snow and ice

Light rail transit and Northstar is still good, tho lmfao 😛

All metro transit bus service suspended but lrt and north star

To all my light rail and rail-based transit haters out there, take this!

Keep the rails. Build more rails. 🚈

Me met council

other Met council

I am once again asking for your support in our fight to stay above the Met Council in follower counts.

This race is close. The Met Council is sitting at 123 followers, whereas the Met Council is at 118 followers.

Can the Met Council count on you to help us win this race?

We don't need light rail because nobody uses the light rail, it's true! (I never rode light rail before)

Metro micro is a Microtransit service! Commuters can book a ride only during normal Northstar service hours

Travel times may take up to 4 hours to downtown Minneapolis from Big Lake or St. Cloud. We'll have plenty, as in 2 micro buses in use

Vikings and Twins gamespecial service will be provided

We're happy to announce to Rep. Jon Koznick (R, MN 57-A) that the Northstar Commuter Rail service will be transitioning to Metro micro.

Service changes take effect February 29th, 2025.

Infrastructure and trains will be left to rot. Tax payer money & fed funding will be sent into the oblivion.

me Met council

them Met council

Guys, we CANNOT have the Met Council overtake the Met Council in follower counts!

We're currently sitting at 115 followers compared to the Metropolitan Council's 97 followers.

We have to widen that gap for the sake of the Twin Cities. Our lives depend on it.

A poorly edited image with a Metro Transit bus rapid transit bus cropped over a Metro Transit light rail train.

Hey, Twin Cities! 💙🏙🏙😎

Thanks to the added flexibility, speed, comfortability, and reliability of Bus Rapid Transit (BRT), the METRO Blue and Green LRT Lines will be upgraded to BRT.

Buses will continue to use light rail tracks and right of way.

Changes take effect on February 30th, 2025.

🚌🚌🚌

Your mom's house corridor👩

You know what... we could delay SWLRT to 2040 for funzies😈

🟦Twin Cities: Did you almost crash or slide on the roads today?🟦

If so... PLEASE @mn_leg I DON'T WANT TO DRIVE ANYMORE ESPECIALLY IN THIS TYPE OF WEATHER. WE NEED BUSES AND TRAINS EVERYWHERE OH MY GOD. THERE ARE BAD DRIVERS TOO, PLEASE...

Sincerely, the intern and chairperson of the Met Council 🌨☃️

phew, thankfully, we didn't spend $3.1 billion on SWLRT, or the NIMBY's would absolutely freak out!

Blue line extension: 👀

Yeah, we've got them stationed at every corner of our jurisdiction 😩😋

this is why we need 24/7 bus lanes 🚌🛣🟥

beep beep, move out your car out of the way!

according to my calculations, they're very organic

- chairperson