Got a used copy of a Jean Genet book, took it home and realised it absolutely stank of piss so I had to chuck it. In hindsight it sort of feels like the intended way his work should be read though.
You are my rock. I want to throw you in water to see what sound it makes.
If you don't you will regret it forever. If you do you will also regret it forever.
Wow you would think labor day was when everyone did all their work and then just kind of took the rest of the year off. Bizarre.
I've been through the desert on a horse with no legs, I rode him like a skateboard
To catch a thief you have to steal some stuff
In my raps the word ho is short for honey:)
I'm such a hero I would jump on a grenade even if there was noone else around.
I burned one calorie today
turning into a manosphere
That's the best gift anyone can give
Same. I like to think that's why they stopped putting ornaments on luxury cars.
Does it count as a threesome if I'm thinking about someone else during
Feeding salad to the trees
Oh they already made a movie of this concept
Nobody would trust a skinny Santa
Do we think hedgehogs suck their own dicks when they curl up in that little ball
Ice cream truck funerals apparently produce the most horror movie ass sound you can hear in real life
Lights camera cut
Scarf is short for 'scarface'
Telling old people that I'm their son and they have dementia so they put me in their will
The good news is that there's no bad news. The bad news however, is that there's no good news.
Best friend material
Todd is short for Toddler
Crufts for slugs
I think my cat is trying to communicate with me. He wrote his name on the carpet in poop scoots.
We should have woman years as a measurement of relative aging the same way we have dog years
You've got to love what you do. That's the whole problem.
He was too good for this world. But not quite good enough for the other one.
You know it's on when you're watching a movie and the daughter gets kidnapped. Not so much the son, cos really if your son can't fight off kidnappers then you've failed as a parent.
