J Vasquez

Oh… SHIT.

Where’s all the weird stuff in Albuquerque? Is there a Halloween themed cookie shop named ALL-BOO-COOKIE? I’m so sorry…

Gonna be driving across the country for a bit so if anyone needs anything lemme know and I’ll pick it up for you.

I’ve updated my user agreement. Agree or disagree.

Reading a book by Werner Herzog, as opposed to listening to the audio version narrated by him, is made only better for the fact that in my head it is narrated by my own terrible Werner Herzog impersonation.

That’s really good.

Man, I don’t wanna see the lion man with a dick or anything but the way it is it’s like his body is this featureless, sexless bag of folding wrinkly flesh.

If I saw ANY of the three guys, the scarecrow, the silver man or the lion man, in real life, like ran into them, and they were beings that looked like this, I would start screaming and lose my mind.

Jesús Christ that monkey.

The fuck is wrong with that witch?

Oh my god the silver man.

“Do you think if I went with you this wizard would give me some brains?” Holy shit.

Watching The Wizard of Oz. This movie is fucking insane.

Predator Badlands review: Finally a Predator that learns to love a CG monkey friend. What I hated about the previous films was they didn’t have enough jar jars.

It’s a raccoon.

BEHOLD!

I hung out with a raccoon.

It always bothered me when people laughed while watching ZIM. All that time I spent trying to warn humanity with my admittedly astounding cautionary tales and they LAUGHED. Well I tried. Sure I failed spectacularly but I tried…

Please don’t attempt to contribute to my perfect post.

Scoopin’.

My oral surgeon has been playing the theme music to Halloween the entire time I’ve been here. If he doesn’t come out in a blood spattered Michael Meyers costume I’m not paying.

It was literally that. We had to heat it up over a bare lightbulb.

The last time I visited Columbus Ohio I was forced to eat a hot pocket for the first time. It was sad and it still haunts me. I’m back again and I’m scared I’ll have to do that again.

I’m on a plane again goddammit.

I never really looked at people before. What’s up with their faces?

A nice little thing I like to do is keep raisins in my pocket to hand out to strangers when out in the world - you never know what someone’s going through and if a single raisin can keep them from losing their shit, then it was worth it. #raisins

Insane people wearing INVADER ZIM costumes filled with burning hot stew.

Successfully extracted from Atlanta. Thank you, everyone who showed up to support and consume my award losing stew at StewCon. People even dressed up in weird costumes to see me but that actually worked out alright since they could be filled up with burning hot stew. Much appreciated. #dragoncon

I don’t care what the official bullshit is from the White House, there’s no way those black bags they’re dumping aren’t full of Trump’s cankle meat. They can’t dump them fast enough - no sooner do they fill up a bag does two bags of meat regenerate. #canklegate

Did a panel today about why people still like INVADER ZIM after all this time despite it being a known fact the show causes mental deformities and almost always gives viewers ‘stupid eyes.’ Pretty good turnout and the lights made it easier to ignore their hideous eyes.

Do not fear the thing on the wing.
BE the thing on the wing.

Oh shiiiiit! Hollywood’s Brent Spiner is on my flight. That’s a good sign.