Return of the Cmonmacques

If an egg is broken from the outside, life ends.

If an egg is broken from the inside, life begins.

I just started this movie hotel mumbai about the terror attacks and shaking my head the whole time while hoping the terrorists merk armie hammer*

*his character, for legal reasons

He did that shit I’m so fucking certain

love that our brains are sick in the same way

Sorceress is my bet.

Any man that has been interested in me in the last 3 years has somehow lost their job at the same time and I have no idea what that means but I’m seeing patterns here

🔮*

L🔮

Many people have sought out my mystical power of foresight ever since 2010 when I correctly predicted armie hammer would turn out to be a cannibal

netflix is recommending an armie hammer movie and all I can think is.... did we ever get a final answer on if he ate human flesh?

America and Israel running a second genocide in Iran.

GET HIS FUCKING ASS, DARRYL

All these guys fucked right after this

The posts I made that you all liked were written by me.

The ones I made that you didn’t like were written by AI.

Kudos to you all for spotting the fakes!

selfie of me sitting in a blue chair. Olive the orange tabby cat is stretched across my lap with her paws hanging over my side. You can see her right hind foot in the corner of the frame. It's so cute. she looks indignant, as always.

LOOK

IT'S A LION

OH MY GOD

Jessie eventually makes a bomb

🕊️

100% it’s an incredible feat of storytelling. Like propaganda can be incredibly compelling. Personally I consider Spielberg to be Americas greatest propagandist

“What if I gave your family a taste of my fortune?”

he meets a magical negro in vietnam and steals shrimp recipes off his dead body

He would’ve gone to the nfl after Bama not Vietnam. The league loves fast people who aren’t that smart

“In China they ain’t got no religion or possessions” I fucking HATE THIS MOVIE!!!!

The ol’ Graham Platner defense.

Lol no but seriously it’s the despicable black panther portrayal that tells me this movie absolutely knew it was a klan movie

Tom Hanks as klansman Nathan Buford Forrest in a scene from Forrest Gump that apes birth of a nation

“You can’t compare it to birth of a nation!!” Can’t I…

Forrest Gump is the greatest and most destructive piece of American propaganda since birth of a nation.

Ten toes down.

I am a “he dies in New Hampshire” truther

I do find the finale of BREAKING BAD to be surprisingly toothless, but if you find him cool and aspirational during any point in the show's run, you are already a total media illiterate.

You can't make art with the world's dumbest people in mind or you'll never make anything truly great.

Just as a side note she’s clearly fucked up on something too. My girl xanned up for this hardship

Nostradumbass