I was the kid who woke up at 7am on the weekends while my friends slept until noon. I spent a lot of sleepovers watching morning news with their parents.
BlueSky feels the same way😂
Listen, I’ve been on the “birds are terrifying” train for a while. They are pointy dinosaurs with hollow bones who defecate on people for fun and should BE FEARED.
This is the most accurate description of mastodon I’ve read on the internet. I mean, I think, because I literally black out 2 minutes into someone explaining mastodon to me.
I came here to do two things: pray and quote Natalie Imbruglia, and I’m all out of faith
Return to Oz. I can barely talk about it. Those fucking wheelers.
Cool cool, when do I start paying you for general access, paying you again for even less access, and then answering bluesky polls about your self-worth? I don’t wanna miss it.
Fred Rococo is the only man I trust.
The ocean is my biggest fear. Secretly I want to drain it, prove it’s filled with nightmares, and forget the whole thing ever happened. But instead, I scream at my kids to stay away from it and ruin every beach vacation.
Sign…… me up? I’m conflicted.
Society will never correct itself until all Real Housewives shows are cancelled. They’re mean.
The bad guy just told Dalton that he’s the reason JC Penny came to town. That’s that’s brag.
Dalton (Swayze) carries around his medical records and college transcript? Already out here proving my dad right, the job market for a philosophy major is tough.
I’m honor of Father’s Day, I’m watching Road House for the first time. Ever.
I hope Twitter ends like The Sopranos
hacker: I have all your passwords
me: omg thank you, what are they
I mean, is it really morning if I don’t wake up seeing MOASS trending?
For sure. Twitter was a huge news source for me, I’d check trending topics every morning to see wtf happened overnight. I miss that a lot.
Ticks. I just see ticks. *nervously checks hair*
Looks like melted crayon. Tastes like melted crayon heaven.
Agreed. Cheers to rebuilding in new spaces, it seems.
I feel this. I held on thinking, when this ship gets righted, it will be okay. I’ll keep using this. I’ll keep checking this. I’ll keep the checkmark I worked hard to get. And then it just hit me, there’s no coming back from this. It’s not salvageable. I can’t support the doomed bird any longer.
I’m just going to be over here sitting with my feelings of hate toward Shiv Roy for a while.
Did the avocado write this?
Listen. If I see a bear trap, I’m going to touch it. Lil chompy fella. Why are you on the ground? Waiting for me, I bet.
Okay fine. I’ll pay the taxes but I want the rich people hunger games.
When you live in the country, the official talking points of teaching your kid to drive are as follows:
1. We don’t go into ditches because of squirrels.
2. Don’t stop for people who come out of cornfields.
3. I cannot stress this enough, there is never just ONE deer.
The first season was slow to grow on me, but from season 2 on? GARY AND DAISY 4EVER.
(as angry as it is possible to be at a colleague) Hey! Any update on this?
Bluesky users checking back in with pals on Twitter
