This is a disgusting and unwarranted attack on my culture.
05.03.2026 21:41
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You come right over here and explain why they are having another day!
I was just thinking “there is no better feeling that seeing all your meals for the week prepped and put away in the fridge” and then I remembered: there are several feelings that are actually quite better. Still good, though.
No. You are supposed to love to hate Amanda.
“Dried plums with enough umami to kill a senior citizen” is an all timer.
Found a new snack at Trader Joe’s today
SMH. Kraven the Hunter was a fine time at the movies. My man ran on all fours. Russell Crowe *committed* to that Russian accent with evening he had. What more do you people want?
A car wearing a pirate costume
iPhone memories serving me up the good stuff.
Me: Hi, are there any openings for the 7PM lap swim?
The teen behind the desk at the rec center, with a chilling lack of malice: Um, yeah. It’s, um, Friday night.
I’ve been offline a bit lately. What do you mean, everyone is happily watching a baby monkey struggle to self soothe? Do you all have hearts of stone?
Sarah sounds like a total pill, if we are being honest.
I was just there too early. The hot people started to trickle in later. I’m still cool okay.
Not sure what that’s about but I guess I’ll go for the onion rings instead.
I’m sitting at a diner I used to go to when I was young and cool, and instead of being surrounded by young and cool people, everyone else is also middle aged? How could this happen??
If you do not go to the pool to swim laps for six months, then you will not see the flyers posted about the pool area letting you know it’s closed for the week. And that is how I ended up jazzed on pre workout while I sat in Friday traffic back to my apartment.
A tuxedo tabby lays his paw on the inside of a woman’s arm, as though he’s holding hands with her
Missing my buddy tonight, maybe just a touch more than usual.
I know machines still have a lot to learn before we can rely on them because why would the HBO Max app think I’d want Real Time with Bill Maher to auto play after Last Week Tonight? What kind of sicko loser watches both those programs?
A text message thread with an IMMINENT THREAT WARNING at the top and below a reply that says “you will be okay”
A large part of my job is driving around LA County. I was complaining to a friend just now that I was afraid of driving in the rain this week and she was telling me I’d be fine at the exact moment an IMMINENT THREAT ALERT came in, so
I’ve decided that I’m just simply never changing my profile image. This isn’t a dating app and I don’t have to post only recent pics. If you want to know who I really am, this five year old photo of me and my now departed cat is it.
It’s one of those good LA sunsets tonight, the kind that bathes the room in bright pink light.
You can’t listen to sights, but you get it.
Walking through a westside farmers market, listening to the sights and sounds, “he’s just gonna do the Europe thing for a while” and “Oh! Look! Coconut water!”
MY MAN GODFREY (1936) rare ✨Nitrate✨ print playing tonight at 7 pm + tomorrow at 3 pm at the Egyptian! Don’t miss this delightful screwball comedy starring William Powell & Carole Lombard ❤️
Presented in partnership with Eastman Museum, Los Angeles.
www.americancinematheque.com/series/ameri...
Well now I feel less special
Big news for DOCUMENTARY NOW! fans: There's a coffee table book coming out in May, and I wrote the introduction! You can order signed (by me!) copies at the link below. Written by Seth Meyers + cast and crew. It runs 600 pages and includes the complete score to CO-OP. mzs.press/PRE-ORDER-SI...
Where it snows?
Guess I’m in the market for a new sense of identity.
I’ve seen it. It’s like someone took everything that was significant to me personally and turned it into a mockery.
This doesn’t seem good
Just logged on and apparently my favorite celebrity and my favorite donut chain have done something terrible together.