kris

Hunter Biden was already publicly hung though

So happy everyone in Elon musks million dollar group chat is still dead naming it

So happy everyone in Elon musks million dollar group chat is still dead naming it

Grandma got run over by a ford focus

And it's based on my listening????? Are we sure????

I fucking hate enhanced shuffle Spotify is like oh you wanna hear all your lovely amazing perfect curated songs but then what if I just threw in absolute garbage every now and then as a jumpscare

Jesus has Rizzen

If I had nine lives like a cat I would use at least eight of them to off myself in front of customers

Call to action

Proud to report I can now have a little weed as a treat

I show up to the function early as fuck cause one thing about me is I will be getting the worm

I'm on break now. it's time to play inner peace simulator

i have got to get some hoes... I'm approaching nuclear levels of single. Lethal levels of single. I'm outside praying divorce on happy couples

Im at your moms house getting more milk than santa on christmas eve

God gives me his toughest battles (having the discipline to spend my day off doing productive things that I need to do)

Did I do this one yet

They call me dwayne the way I rock

me when I accidentally make a face at a customer but it wasn't for them it was just me reacting to my own thoughts

who clocked in maladaptive daydreaming on the sales floor

weird bitches make the world go round

im in a very heavy era of just wanting to dissociate and not exist in reality for a while except i also have 100000 very important things to prepare for and actively work at so that's fun. now is not the time brain

I recently found out that the whole thing about tritones being banned in the church isn't even true so I feel justified in finding the whole "satans interval" stuff corny as fuck

tritones killed my grandma

“insanely, unfathomably motivated by raw, animal spite” is my answer whenever anyone asks how I’ve succeeded in life

*mixing a drink* I'm studying for my 21st birthday

when I die I'll leave everything to the one person whose always been there for me: sketchy loose ibuprofen at the bottom of my bag

germans who slay be like cuntserven ja

I randomly got a platform on insta but their monetization system is so wacky. like you get monetization if they feel like giving it to you, and they can declare you "ineligible" randomly for literally no reason with no explanation or appeal process. thanks Zuck!

wait ask ur gf (not name-dropping even tho literally nobody here knows what I'm talking about but whatever) cause isn't she some NSFW communities or something? Like she actually might know fr

I used to get Instagram monthly bonuses for reels before they dropped me for no reason but I would get between 150-300$ monthly for significantly less views and engagements