One of the Boobs from Sector 7-G

“We’ve already won the war, but the Navy can’t provide escorts through the Straits of Hormuz because it’s far too dangerous.”

Alt text:
George Lucas is standing by a window. The large slats of the blinds are open, letting sunlight illuminate his face. His arms are crossed, and the expression on his face indicates that he's half past done with your shit

Earlier I implied that I escorted yo' momma through the Strait of Hormuz. I apologize for the misinformation. Yo' momma's too fat for such a narrow passageway and whatnot.

Trump Administration Offers Free At-Home Loyalty Tests

Trump Administration Offers Free At-Home Loyalty Tests https://theonion.com/trump-administration-offers-free-at-home-loyalty-tests/

MAGA Voter Claims She Loves High Gas Prices

MAGA Voter Claims She Loves High Gas Prices https://theonion.com/maga-voter-claims-she-loves-high-gas-prices/

‘Hey’ came before ‘hi,’ and ‘hi' came before ‘hello.’

‘Hi’ is most likely a variant of ‘hey.’

‘Hello’ is not related to either.

Goodbye.

If you go down in the woods today you’re sure of a big surprise. The woods are gone. There’s a housing estate called ‘The Woods’ there instead, containing a load of ghastly overpriced executive homes with identical shiny light grey interiors.

Pretty soon they're gonna need to release the Epstein files as a distraction from the price of gas and the dropping Dow.

I can't compete with this.

Smithers worshipping Mr. Burns in a golden muscle suit

Fox News video of President Trump welcoming home the coffins of fallen soldiers this weekend

It was about protecting Division III high school girls volleyball.

Don't shun people just because they have different beliefs about blotting out the sun to usher in a new age of eternal darkness. We have to find an answer in the middle.

Is this mushroom edible? AI: Yes! AI standing over grave: you're right --that mushroom was poisonous. I'm sorry for the confusion! Would you like to learn more about poisonous mushrooms 🍄?

Well, gas is expensive, and food is expensive, and we’re doing a war nobody wants, but at least there are no jobs

These are the 4 things AI can do well:

•Clean up your email inbox (badly)
•Give my shittiest neighbor (Alan) something to talk about at a party
•Tell a 12 yr old to kill himself
•Incinerate a school at 10:16 AM on a Tuesday

You can see why we need to base our economy around it

The fuck you mean? Put the money in the bag.

High gas prices, war in the middle east, unpopular president, soaring unemployment. Welcome back second term Bush administration.

A bunch of celebrities have been declaring that they dislike cats because they’re “mean” animals

This is like when people complain that they don’t like turkey because it’s dry: they’re telling on their own incompetence.

Ham-fisted dopes don’t know how to approach cats. Not the cat’s problem

The people who bombed a school are the same people who tried to prosecute Legislators for telling the military not to follow unlawful orders

Sorry Reuters you’ve already been scooped by No Shit Magazine

Remember, if something bad happens to pedophiles, it's a shame and Donald sends his love. If you're an American citizen and you get killed in the USA because of Operation Epstein Fiasco that's just the way it is and get used to it. Eat some cake and bullets, he's off to Maralago to 'dance.'

"No wonder Trump made me head shield guy."

Please feel free to join the Philatelovely Stamp Sales group. I’m adding new items almost every day, and there’s something for everyone. Plus, you always get free stamps with orders!!

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#stamps

Cartoon by
Jeff Stahler
🎯🎯🎯

"I'll tell you what I'd do. Defund the military and DHS at the same time."

"you need to learn how to use gAI or you'll get left behind!"

counterpoint!

the absolute fastest way to render yourself unemployable is to build your skillset around a tool that does your thinking for you, that everyone has access to, and that one company can change or take away at any time

Trump Writes Netanyahu Strongly Worded Check

Trump Writes Netanyahu Strongly Worded Check