#47 Creepshow
Eh.
No scares here for me, and I didn't find any of the campery particularly funny. Ted Dansen and Leslie Nielson elevate their section and as such that one is super fun.
It was ok.
3*
#46 Suger Hill
This is a weird one. Beautiful but staid, great acting but deeply overmelodramatic, schmaltzy but vicious.
It's just a bit of a mess.
2*
#45 Steve
It's always fascinating to see a British take on Safdie-core. More reserved, less explosive, more quietly edited, just as fucking stressful.
Steve is my favourite kind of character, and not very Safdie, a good man, doing his best. And failing.
Jay Lycurgo deserves to be a star.
4*
#44 The Omen ('76)
Sometimes films just don't work for you you know?
No real scares for me here, just a deeply sad story. Found it dragged quite often, and the lack of ambiguity after 50 years of sequels, remakes and references, helps it not a bit.
3*
#43 Pig
Gutsy to take John Wick's structure, and make the particular set of skills something caring and gentle.
It felt like arthouse JW from minute one and that felt like an issue; then halfway through you realise that's the point, it's a refutation of that kind of movie.
Fucking great flick
#42 Othello (NT Live)
My favourite of Willy Shakes, this is an excellent version. Toby Jones predictably, if wet mouthedly, excellent, but the whole cast smashes it. A naturalistic masterclass of delivering Elizabethan nonsense.
4*
#41 The Stepford Wives (75)
It's stylistically unchallenging, one very upsetting sequence with a knife aside, but it's a potent metaphor for domestic horror and abuse.
It's one of those where you can see every trope and shorthand being invented, always an impressive thing.
4*
#40 Scream 7
The worst yet, and considering the last one. That's saying something.
For the record: the order is 1, 2, 4, 5, 3, 6, 7.
That is all.
#4 Rise of Endymion
Finally finished the Cantos, and never have I experienced a more precipitous drop in a sequel. The first is grand, ambitious, operatic, fascinating work, some of the best sci-fi ever written.
This is ok.
3*
#39 Good Luck have Fun Don't Die
Super fun! Like Bo Burnham wrote a sci-fi adventure flick.
It did feel like it had a darker premise that it wimped out on, but it's twisty and funny and fun and satisfying, (which is a fun commentary on the central premise)
A very strong recommended 3*
I honestly think it's the death spiral of the superhero genre, the studios are trying new kinds of recognisable IP to try and find some 'sure thing' footing again, so it's costume drama's turn. Same reason we're getting a bunch of video game movies, nervous execs.
#38 Wasteman
More of a standard prison gang drama than the trailer would have you believe, it's nonetheless an elevated version of such.
David Johnson continues to prove he is maybe the best young actor of a generation, and Tom Blyth is new to me, but is a font of malevolent charisma here.
4*
#37 Iron Lung
I respect this more than I like it.
It's too long, occasionally visually impossible to parse, and Markiplier isn't a strong enough actor to be solo.
However, the ambition, the scale, the world building, they're so impressive.
Might be the first ever 2* film I'm so pleased exists
#36 Cold Storage
To whom do I report a movie escaped from a mediocre 90s action production line?
Joe Keerey and Georgina Campbell deserve a better flick, and even this movie deserves better SFX. Clown shit up in here.
I never got bored.
3*
3*
#35 Whistle
I guess every generation deserves terrible examples of teenagers being brutalised in creative ways?
Dreck.
2*
#34 Crime 101
Heat in the Californian sunshine, without the compelling thematic weight.
The actors all do a fine job, though the characters all feel curiously separate throughout.
It's ok! Just no more than that.
3*
#33 Marty Supreme
Safdie-core is beginning to have some diminishing returns for me, but this is still excellent.
Chalamet is even more loathsome here than as Dylan. A feat.
The dog subplot outshines the rest of the movie, and would make an incredible 40 minute short, but it all works.
4*
#32 "Wuthering Heights"
It's probably accomplished exactly what Fennel is after, in that it's a gross 14 year old girls stroke flick, but as such, didn't really work for me.
Reverse Kevin Smith her, she is to be locked out of the writers room, and then allowed to make her beautiful images.
3*
#31 Send Help
Oh hey, Raimi made a movie for me!
Survivalism, gross out, horror, thriller, gnarly gore, funny as fuck: all my favourite things.
No one does it like Sam, there's one jump scare that made my wife nearly break my finger, and I was cackling with glee through 80% of this thing.
4*
As an England fan, I look forward to the inevitable loss to Wales.
#30 Crazy Stupid Love
Another rewatch, and it remains an inter-actor chemistry buffet, everyone is so great together. The classic farce fight is an all-timer.
However, the women all suck. In a way the movie doesn't get. Really goes in for the passive-in-romance thing for them and I hate it.
3.5*
#29 Speak No Evil
A rewatch ahead of my first narrative directorial effort next month, that takes a lot of inspiration from this and it's original, and fuck me it's great.
Might be one of the most charismatic villain performances of recent memories. Of all the straw dogs riffs, it's my fave.
4.5*
#28 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
Other than some impressive suit martial arts, this is a perfect example of nostalgia elevating some real shite for people of that era.
I never saw this as a kid, so none of that. This is very bad.
2*
#27 Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom
Is this good? I dunno.
It's the only major capeflick I hadn't seen, so I was working with it playing, and I'd look up and say 'thats ridiculous' and go back. If I saw it in a cinema? I'd hate it I think.
Harryhausen+GI Joe+silver age DC+ 300 Millon dollars= ... 🤷
It's at least less bleak than it felt at halftime? They had 15 minutes of being a mediocre competitive team in the second half, instead of just being an amateur team that snuck into Twickenham.
#26 The Wizard of the Kremlin
Thought experiment, does that 'based on true events' film you're watching bring anything more than a good 3 hour podcast about the subject would?
This is a perfectly serviceable run through modern russian history, and nothing more.
The accents are an issue.
2*
#25 The Client
Another big ol' miss from the Grisham/Schumacher/Goldsman nightmare team.
It's always a danger to hang a film this intensely on a child actor, but this one is particularly aggravating.
Every scene with Lee-Jones and Sarandon is a delight, otherwise, it's a long old slog.
2*
#24 Boiler Room
It's impressive to be more loathsome than Wolf of Wall St, but here we are. Glengarry Glen Ross for Entourage fans. What a premise.
I do however understand how Ribisi managed to get a whole career out of this. He's genuinely excellent
3*
#23 Hot Tub Time Machine
What a gloriously misanthropic, ugly, bitter movie.
It's not so much laugh out loud funny as it is sinister smirk funny, and I love it for it.
3*
#23 The Perfect Neighbour
Stylistically impressive -no one has ever abused Floridas legal disclosure laws this thoroughly- this is rage inducing in the most intense ways.
For gods sake don't look up what redditors have to say about this fucking movie. What a hellsite.
4*
