Cori

Cool cool, the quote for the scratch to the front bumper of his 2018 Golf is more than $2200.

Isn’t a satellite going to hit earth soon? Can we aim it for his car so his insurance will just get him a new one?

(This is a joke, insurance people. We’ll get it fixed.)

I ate a handful of choccy chips

Off to pick up my children because driving has gone so well for me today so far.

Good luck! Looking like a messy night for all of us in the PNW 🫠

I sure hope so because I have to pick up my kids in a bit!

I celebrate Starch Sadness every month.

Current trending hellscapes, er, topics: ICE investigations, Target boycott, Arsenal, Government Waste, Epstein Files

Me: "good lord, who's arsenal are we talking about now."

a r2d2 robot is laying in the dirt next to a rock Alt: a r2d2 robot is falling in the dirt next to a rock

We have a leak in our roof and the roofer can't come until Friday, so I'm really excited for all the wind and rain we're getting between now and then.

(Yes, I did give the person I hit my information because I am a good human, even on the shittiest of days.)

It’s three hours later. Was nearly sideswiped by a dairy truck in a parking lot while eating those tots and then I hit a car while parking so that’s fantastic. And my dad’s first Parkinson’s appt was moved from tomorrow to April. He’s been waiting six months.

How did things actually go downhill?

Join us for the cruise missle cruise! Don’t miss out on bonbons and bombs on the lido deck! Or take an excursion to the dunes for sand buggies and booms! It’s the vacation of a lifetime (yours, not theirs, of course)!!

It’s 10:30am y’all.

Mercury is in gatorade so our roof leak got worse, my expensive blow drier died, I saw a woman almost get hit by a car (she’s ok, I checked), and my Taco Time tater tots are under-salted.

I knowwwwwww

UVDTF — it’s the EufyMake E1!

World is falling apart but I got a cool new printer. These are just a few of my first prints, but it also PRINTS ON LEGO.

What the hell, dictionary. You can't drop and dip like that.

Pretty sure is the same thing 😆

“My aesthetic is Fancy Ball Pit, do you have anything for that?”

Doing okay! We've had two surgery appts that have turned into wait and see appts, so maybe we'll get away with not having to do this additional chylothorax surgery.

I used to have a "they're all good dogs Brent" shirt and I miss it!

Look at this baby. Yes he is 100 lbs. But this is a baby.

Oooh, I didn’t even think of stuffed animals.

Joke's on you daylight savings I'm totally fine with an hour less of this shitshow

I saw an IG reel that says every white woman has a bird in her house. Let me see your birds. Here’s mine.

You pick five drivers and two teams. Your drivers don’t have to be on the same team.

I have both on my team!!

Our friends are making us get into it this year and we’re making them get into MotoGP next year 😆

I built an F1 fantasy team entirely on vibes.

Cool cool. Just what we needed. A leak.

Breaking: Anthropic CEO says Claude may or may not have gained consciousness, as the model has begun showing symptoms of anxiety

Oh, so AI is just like ✨me✨