★ash.alder★

God does it suck to find out I actually really loved my dad.

I keep being sad. It sneaks up on me.

I got this alert and had to look up both who this account belonged to and confirm which was episode two because you are /so good/ as Miss Direction.

It was exactly the performance I wanted, & the character deserved. I’m glad to get to continue working with you.

A clandestine band of determinedly optimistic misfits.

I am enjoying not having a headache so much.

It's likely I'm going into another one b/c one of my meds is out of stock & it's not known when it'll be in again, so it's on the horizon.

But in the meantime, this is very nice.

Goodnight from DI Callaghan, explaining to DS Nokes that the phrase ‘diabolic liberties’ has more than one meaning in the county. Goodnight from the painted lead soldiers in Neil Miller’s study, grandly pissed off to be fighting the battle of Hare Hill yet again. Goodnight from Hookland.

I have scheduled myself a tiny solo vacation for the first weekend in April.

The big plan is to visit Bode State Park, be a hipster and take polaroid pictures of ghost towns.

Also to just be away from obligations, & responsibilities, and take some time /down/.

Am looking forward to it.

I was very productive today both for day job and stuff I actually care about, but barely made a dent in my to do list because I kept adding things to it as fast as I crossed them off.

Sigh

For some reason the body has decided we want to be awake at 3 am.

Not a fan.

The entire millennial identity is being prepared and groomed for a version of the world that stopped existing by the time we reached it

we slammed into a horizon painted on a brick wall like fucking looney tunes

I cannot express how reassuring it is to hear this sentiment expressed by an authority I respect.

The book was very highly recommended to me, & I’ve always felt like I must have just missed something for liking that one story and finding the rest of the book baffling (/derogatory)

I just finished watching Bodies (Netflix) and it succeeded in making me cry, but in a really bittersweet way.

Very well done series.

I learnt a new word of Hookland dialect today – wodwak. It's used to describe the sensation that a wood or even a specific tree is watching you. That moment when your psychic skin won't let you deny that bark-browed eyes are upon you. – #MattAdams

I have successfully sorted, pruned, and reorganized my external hard drive.

I have backups of the final audio and script of everything I've released (save 1 show, working on it,) and separate zip files backed up to the cloud.

Please cheer for my data management.

ok, /that/ is funny ask fuck.

For fuck's sake.

Make more things. Make all the things Make so many things you forget the world is on fire.

I mean.......

(I know, I know, but I didn't even get like, a miniseries out or something. It's probably better for my mental and physical health but.................................................)

Damn, I was going through the LoN stuff for ADYB and did I really only release 2 things this year? I'm kind of disappointed in myself.

Covid negative as of Monday, at least. Though I'll likely test again today.

Alright. Fine. I accept I am actually, properly sick.

Masking up and sanitizing all the things today, staying home tomorrow.

Deeply annoyed about this.

Starting to watch Utopia (UK) again, this time with the boyfriend. It’s among the most excellent series I’ve watched and I hope he enjoys it as much as I do.

I’ve come to realize people think slurs are just words that hurt our feelings. No. Slurs, particularly the N-word, F-word, antisemitic terms etc. aren’t taboo because of that. It’s because historically when these terms are said they precede or pair with pitchforks, torches, lynchings & gas chambers.

Hey.

Tell people when they do good job.

When you like the stuff they make.

When you like the characters they’ve created.

The stories they’ve told.

Nobody hears it as often as you think bc everyone thinks everyone hears it all the time.

Trust. They don’t.

Tell. Them.

Well. I broke down maybe 10% of the tree clippings pile, and filled out green waste bin which is great, but also have rendered my hands useless for at least the next day or two, which is not.

At least i finished all my other house chores first.

Every so often, I’ll be sitting here minding my own business, and then I’ll remember Shelterwood’s Professor Rhys’s perfect man, and feel incredibly sad.

That's what I got, despite all my answers being like

What type do you like best? Grass type.
What do you use most often? Grass type.
What's got the most fun powers? Grass type.
What type has the coolest design? Grass type & Fairy type.

But nope. Psychic.

So there.

I did my phototherapy for the first time in four days because i really, really needed to.

And now the headache is fully back.

Yay.

Med that should fix it will be ready to get tomorrow. Very ready for that.

I just spent about 15 minutes on my computer and the headache is returning.

I guess we're not doing that today.

Fuck.

I have a thing to go to today that I really, really want to do, but I think this migraine might keep me from, and i hate it.

But god am i exhausted.