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Futurama Quotes

@quotesfuturama

Quotes from Futurama, Not affiliated with Fox, Hulu or Disney.

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Latest posts by Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama

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Morbo can't understand his Teleprompter. He forgot how you say that letter that looks like a man with a hat.

It's a "T". It goes "tuh".

Hello, little man. I will destroy you!

#Futurama

20.07.2025 14:58 ๐Ÿ‘ 48 ๐Ÿ” 9 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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You, Boogerbot, read the code or I'll shoot this guy.

Who the hell is he?

I'm Scruffy the janitor.

Hang on, Scruffy!

#Futurama

19.07.2025 15:17 ๐Ÿ‘ 31 ๐Ÿ” 2 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Bender! Where are the shovels I asked you to pack?

Oh, you said shovels?

I thought you said take a break and do nothing.

#Futurama

18.07.2025 14:58 ๐Ÿ‘ 37 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Hey, my girlfriend had one of those. Actually it wasn't hers, it was her dad's.

Actually she wasn't my girlfriend, she just lived next door and never closed her curtains.

Fry, remember when I told you about always ending your stories a sentence earlier?

#Futurama

17.07.2025 14:59 ๐Ÿ‘ 116 ๐Ÿ” 14 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Are they black with white feathers or white with black feathers?

It don't matter, baby. They're all beautiful.

#Futurama

16.07.2025 15:09 ๐Ÿ‘ 39 ๐Ÿ” 5 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Why couldn't she be the other type of mermaid, with the fish part on top and the lady part on the bottom?

#Futurama

15.07.2025 15:09 ๐Ÿ‘ 36 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Pine trees have been extinct for 800 years, Fry. Gone the way of the poodle and your primitive notions of modesty.

Ah! Brisk!

#Futurama

14.07.2025 14:58 ๐Ÿ‘ 29 ๐Ÿ” 3 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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We own entire Western Hemisphere. That the best hemisphere.

It's the same on Earth.

#Futurama

13.07.2025 14:56 ๐Ÿ‘ 20 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Hey, buddy. I'm looking for fresh slug.

Yellow or purple?

Whatever.

The purple one causes terrible nightmare-ish diarrhoea.

Yeah, yeah. Either one's fine.

#Futurama

12.07.2025 15:16 ๐Ÿ‘ 24 ๐Ÿ” 2 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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All those times I said "Kill all humans," I'd always whisper "except one". Fry was that one. And I never told him so!

#Futurama

11.07.2025 14:56 ๐Ÿ‘ 24 ๐Ÿ” 3 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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My God, we're defenseless, like fish in a barrel.

Options?

My instinct is to hide in this barrel, like the wily fish.

#Futurama

10.07.2025 14:56 ๐Ÿ‘ 23 ๐Ÿ” 3 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 1
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As you ate our children, so shall you be eaten by us.

We will begin with the firemen, then the math teachers and so on in that fashion until everyone is eaten.

#Futurama

09.07.2025 15:02 ๐Ÿ‘ 27 ๐Ÿ” 2 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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You folks still doing alright?

Oh, yes, Elzar.

Good, 'cause it turns out I forgot to cook that chicken.

#Futurama

08.07.2025 15:06 ๐Ÿ‘ 23 ๐Ÿ” 3 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Hey! How come when I wanna do fun stuff that'll kill me you're against it?

This is more important than that marble-eating contest, Fry.

#Futurama

07.07.2025 15:04 ๐Ÿ‘ 27 ๐Ÿ” 3 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Hey, Roberto! What's with the piece? I thought you were more of a Knife guy.

Out here in the West, I need something shootier.

Like this gun-Knife I invented-stole!

#Futurama

06.07.2025 15:01 ๐Ÿ‘ 25 ๐Ÿ” 3 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 1
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Bender, what happened to you?

Morgan made me walk the Professor.

There we were in the park when suddenly some old lady says I stole her purse.

I chucked the Professor at her but she kept coming. So I had to hit her with this purse I found.

#Futurama

05.07.2025 21:15 ๐Ÿ‘ 43 ๐Ÿ” 5 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Good news, everyone! I'm in terrible pain.

How is that good news?

It's not. I've run out of Good News brand herbal supplement.

#Futurama

04.07.2025 14:59 ๐Ÿ‘ 16 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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You can see how I lived before I met you.

You lived before you met me?

Sure, lots of people did.

Really?

#Futurama

03.07.2025 15:01 ๐Ÿ‘ 31 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Oh, no? I'm 40% lucky.

The scrap metal I'm made from included a truckload of horseshoes from the luckiest racehorses in Mexico, who had just been sent to a glue factory.

They don't sound so lucky to me.

Not without their shoes.

#Futurama

02.07.2025 15:05 ๐Ÿ‘ 25 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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But I don't get it. Most women I've met can't even stand next to me without collapsing.

What's wrong with those women?

Well... some of them didn't have legs.

#Futurama

01.07.2025 15:06 ๐Ÿ‘ 12 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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This very lucky casino we own. Someone wins one million dollar every hour!

Usually it us.

#Futurama

30.06.2025 15:05 ๐Ÿ‘ 43 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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It's extremely delicate, so if one of you breaks it, you're paying for it!

Fry did it!

Did what?

Just practicing for later.

#Futurama

29.06.2025 14:42 ๐Ÿ‘ 47 ๐Ÿ” 2 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Boy, I've never seen him so down... or ever before.

#Futurama

28.06.2025 14:50 ๐Ÿ‘ 47 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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I don't know. I should be happy. Bender's sausage just won third place.

Third place? This is the greatest injustice Germany has ever committed!

#Futurama

27.06.2025 15:07 ๐Ÿ‘ 29 ๐Ÿ” 2 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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I move that everyone come to my apartment to snuggle my cat.

Second.

I move that your cat stinks and is ugly.

Second.

I move that we vote on a new chief executive officer and oust this old creep. And also that make cat smells good and is pretty.

Second.

#Futurama

26.06.2025 15:01 ๐Ÿ‘ 19 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 1
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My wireless back-up unit saves a copy of me every day. So, if my body gets killed, big whoop, I just download into another body. I'm immortal, baby!

What? Then how come you always scream so much when you're in danger?

I never said I wasn't a drama queen.

#Futurama

25.06.2025 15:02 ๐Ÿ‘ 39 ๐Ÿ” 4 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 1
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You're too picky.

Yeah. If you rule out every guy with a lizard tongue or a low I.Q. or an explosive, violent temper, of course you're going to be lonely.

#Futurama

24.06.2025 15:00 ๐Ÿ‘ 9 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Say, we should form our own book club.

With blackjack! And hookers!

In fact, forget the books!

#Futurama

23.06.2025 15:59 ๐Ÿ‘ 42 ๐Ÿ” 7 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Man, I thought Ultimate Robot Fighting was real, like pro wrestling. But it turns out it's fixed, like boxing.

#Futurama

22.06.2025 14:54 ๐Ÿ‘ 80 ๐Ÿ” 11 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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So, what's it like on planet Amazonia?

Big rats there. Me crush with club.

That's so interesting. Maybe we could get to know each other over a coffee.

#Futurama

21.06.2025 21:15 ๐Ÿ‘ 118 ๐Ÿ” 11 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2 ๐Ÿ“Œ 3