Elise

Fuckable lizard people? I’m from Capitol Hill. Not even last nights storm could wake me? Sons and lads I am NARCOLEPTIC and READY TO STEAL

Climb a mountain by jumping awkwardly on a flat slope looking for loose polygons? Did that last Wednesday. Jump too hard and have to load a save because my knees exploded and I died? Been on that since I was 22. CHIM all my bad outcomes? Babes I transcend shame and I do it in public, out loud, live.

If you fail to integrate with the social groups you encounter early on, you can become a LEVITATING WIZARD WHO LIVES IN A MUSHROOM TOWER AND FIGHTS GOD. Like come on that’s just plagiarism off my normal life

Everyone in Morrowind is off-puttingly green-tinted with bad hair and no tits, and you know, I really resonate with that

Am I cram packed with repetitive dialogue options and weird pterodactyl encounters? Hell yeah. Am I uncomfortably gender-ambiguous and obsessed with giant mushrooms? HELL YEAH.

I think I identify so strongly with Morrowind because I too am physically mid, but my lore is 14/10 and my foraging & crafting mechanisms are gamebreaking

I promise you, folks, if I don’t get my Vyvanse I will be woke until 0400 every single day

Ironic that the regime most violently opposed to “woke” is trying to take away my ADHD medication

True mindfulness is when you take an entire shower without having one mental argument

Deus Voltron

This is a longitudinal study because I do not currently have the mental bandwidth to even be monogamous lmfao

It’s not that I’m polyamorous, it’s just that everybody I’m dating seems to be polyamorous

Thank goodness for this water cooling system, also known as Vyvanse

Yeah I’m ADHD, or as I like to call it, overclocked

Reflexively checked a mulch bed as I walked past it. It’s the middle of January, a good three months until the first morels emerge. Your mushroom friends are not okay

My kiddo wants two eggs for their lunch protein today. This is why I’ll never own a home

Oh WOW what an excellent, heartbreaking story

Grappling tonight with how, and when, and what to tell my kiddo about gender and safety and how to use a closet and a mask

Hi I’m extremely autistic and I’m allowed to contrast my love of functional systems & human accommodations vs. the shitty self-centered megalomania of a man whose horrible behavior has nothing to do with how our autistic brains work

I know y’all don’t actually believe the cringe billionaire guy is autistic?? That man HATES trains

I mean the crab is dead so technically it’s right 🦀💀

I’m wearing camo in these pictures so the clams won’t see me coming

Hell yeah, birthday clammin’

I can’t tell if my car smells more like burnt clutch or chicken tikka masala right now but it’s making me hungry

Me, nurse manager of a colonoscopy unit: How the fuck did I end up in charge of anything, this was a mistake

Airgapped iPhone

Making a Spotify playlist called “Anxiety Relief” and filling it with tracks that sample “I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me”

Frantically digging through my memories for a funny childhood story that’s actually funny and not traumatic. No, not the 200 pumpkins one, remember everyone’s face last time? None of the ones about the feral cats, people don’t like those stories. Oh, I know, the emu story, that one’s a hit, okay

I can’t believe you’re shaming me for my perfectly normal sex noises, haven’t you ever heard of the little-death rattle

“Would you like to unmute yourself?” No thank you Teams I am just coughing into the mic