schrodinger's catboy

optimus prime be like i just drove in from denver and boy are my arms tires

many of you

saw this on tumblr and it's literally so true woah

@genaLRthomas: What's something that's not actually Christian but Americans think it is? @drmistercody: America

the “no smoking” light in an airplane shines a man anxiously sits with his tired eyes glued to the signal, waiting to light a cigarette. “cmon… turn off…” he thinks

bottom surgery? you mean a lobotomy?

why not both?

getting bent over a guy's classic car would fix me

2022 full color pet portrait commission at the counter of a waffle house, a snaggle toothed dog leans on her paw and pours coffee for a customer

portrait of chihuahua as waffle house waitress(2022)

a speech bubble that says "if you love me, gimme some Nut!" with a pleading bottom emoji

back in the day you could just go to the tavern and tell wenches you’re the sole survivor of a horrific shipwreck and they believed you

Sir Dunk !!

#akotsk

mr white…… mr white ….. i need u to suck my bottom growth …. quickly …….

gus fring: Mr white ur gonna wanna take a look at this. they’re overriding the mainframe

walter white: Uh, in english four eyes

Jesse pinkman: they fuckin our pussies!!!

walter white: *ozymandius face*

Tech Guy in Movie " Uh You're gonna wanna See this " *Turns Screen to Action Guy in Movie* Tech Guy " Theyre Overriding the Mainframe " Action Guy " Uh in English Four Eyes " Tech Guy " They Fuckin our Pussys.!! " Action Guy "Now you're Speakin my Language " *Cocks Gun*

i am Always thinking about this post

if i die of nuclear war or whatever i better be a sexy corpse

i think i think about penis more than the average guy

what if i told you u were as beautiful as a gyoza to me..

people at a pool full of piss pointing and laughing at a guy that is surrounded by water

this image

piss pool party where they get mad at you for spilling water in the pool

okay but a zero gravity cumshot probably goes crazyyyyy

remember it’s legal to kill a guy on the moon. however it is very illegal to jack him off

i'm so 2 thousand felearly you're so 2 thousand fellate

"remember planking?" no. we're not doing this. the only thing i remember is the alamo. goodbye

as a man i will be spending international women’s day trying to figure out how to make it about me. considering detransition or possibly debuting a new hat i’ll wear daily

episode 101

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