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Matt Whitman

@matthewwhitman

husband, father, lawyer, jiu-jitsu tackling dummy

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226
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220
Posts
26.01.2024
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Latest posts by Matt Whitman @matthewwhitman

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This is amazing.

www.getyourfuckingmoneyback.com

27.02.2026 17:49 πŸ‘ 37050 πŸ” 11959 πŸ’¬ 499 πŸ“Œ 798

Great closing line.

27.02.2026 04:21 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

They are good at smiling, really smiling

26.02.2026 17:08 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Poem in the Shape of the Poet Beating Henry Kissinger to Death with Their Bare Hands by Felix

25.02.2026 17:47 πŸ‘ 5337 πŸ” 1949 πŸ’¬ 28 πŸ“Œ 70
Rashida Tlaib at the SOTU wearing a β€œFuck ICE” button

Rashida Tlaib at the SOTU wearing a β€œFuck ICE” button

25.02.2026 03:02 πŸ‘ 414 πŸ” 44 πŸ’¬ 7 πŸ“Œ 5

"just one more thing..."

24.02.2026 21:53 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

But Asian pears

23.02.2026 04:14 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

they have to make prison uniforms noticeable but it is an ocular crime to the law-abiding

20.02.2026 05:33 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

What the hell is wrong with that guy’s shirt?

20.02.2026 05:30 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

my son says a soccer buddy of his got a pineapple pizza. Not pineapple and ham. Just pineapple. His buddy ate the whole thing.

18.02.2026 20:06 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I am so sorry, I was not specific. Join Costco. Order online. No overstimulation needed.

18.02.2026 20:04 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

In this thread you have referred to β€œOG Twitterβ€œ and β€œold Twitterβ€œ.

I think you are comparing the Bluesky of today to the Twitter you remember. I remember when Twitter was good and fun. But that’s just nostalgia.

18.02.2026 19:11 πŸ‘ 26 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Free to Be, You and Me

18.02.2026 00:51 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

become a Costco member and buy contacts from there? (please don't flame me)

16.02.2026 19:18 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

I am just so horrified

06.02.2026 02:31 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Straighten your gig line

04.02.2026 22:46 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

OH THANK GOD

04.02.2026 16:19 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I think they threw his shoe into traffic! delights

03.02.2026 18:57 πŸ‘ 6 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Even the order is too long. Echoing Tom Skerritt’s character in A River Runs Through It: β€œA third as long.”

28.01.2026 23:49 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Costco just started selling their N/A beers and I have been gratefully plowing through them, again in service of sobriety.

28.01.2026 23:36 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
An older Lab sends you luck

An older Lab sends you luck

An older Lab sends you luck

27.01.2026 20:49 πŸ‘ 14 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Same here

25.01.2026 05:59 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Salem and Portland, woohoo!

12.01.2026 20:57 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Willamette. (will-A-met)

12.01.2026 20:13 πŸ‘ 29 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 4 πŸ“Œ 0

In my home state, there is intentional interference with economic advantage or intentional interference with contractual relations.

07.01.2026 21:25 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

"Did you see what Mark Cuban posted? Oh did you see the clapbβ€”"

You shake yourself awake in the cold North Atlantic water. You are not online. It is July of 1858. You are a baleen whale, and you have changed your mind. The future most not come to pass. The telegraph cable must break.

27.12.2025 02:15 πŸ‘ 16112 πŸ” 3298 πŸ’¬ 69 πŸ“Œ 42

nice windmills

16.12.2025 19:34 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I assumed it was an inside joke and that you would know all of Alexβ€˜s inside jokes, but instead it is just a cite. Sigh

12.12.2025 04:37 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

me too.

11.12.2025 23:35 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

@hollyanderson.bsky.social if they won't share, will you?

11.12.2025 22:10 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0