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Zoey Handley

@adzuken

Writer. Queenlord. Gaming hobbyist. Weird. Formerly at Destructoid. Editor of Maximum Utmost. Support me at http://ko-fi.com/adzuken. Find me at https://linktr.ee/adzuken.

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Latest posts by Zoey Handley @adzuken

She's boozing it up in the morning, too.

05.03.2026 00:05 ๐Ÿ‘ 7 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

This was a weird trip, for sure. #blutoid

03.03.2026 22:59 ๐Ÿ‘ 7 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

#blutoid

02.03.2026 20:45 ๐Ÿ‘ 7 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

It can get confusing. Just make sure to punch walls. You can always punch the back wall, even when there's a door. The hammer works on the back wall, ceiling, and floor. Not the left and right walls. I made a map years ago when I first played it and referred to it through this playthrough.

01.03.2026 19:11 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

And this is why I was playing The Goonies 2. #blutoid

01.03.2026 19:00 ๐Ÿ‘ 15 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
A screenshot from the end of The Goonies 2 on NES. It shows Annie the Mermaid in her glass tank. She's saying "Hurrah for Konami and the Goonies!"

A screenshot from the end of The Goonies 2 on NES. It shows Annie the Mermaid in her glass tank. She's saying "Hurrah for Konami and the Goonies!"

This was apparently a "play The Goonies 2 from start to finish" kind of night. #blutoid

01.03.2026 05:54 ๐Ÿ‘ 25 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 3 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Oh, hey. A game I did some writing for is coming out in a few months. #blutoid

26.02.2026 19:08 ๐Ÿ‘ 27 ๐Ÿ” 8 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

It was very satisfying to give Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom a 6.5 while at Destructoid. I feel like I completed a circle.

25.02.2026 22:10 ๐Ÿ‘ 6 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

No wonder you grew up to be so radical.

23.02.2026 16:21 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Alright. So, Steve is standing, holding a scythe, on the right side of a disco-ball stippled room labelled "Luv Palace." A woman in a tight dress dances in the middle, and another, older woman dressed in something lacier sits on a couch. The older woman says.

"Such is the Mystery of Lust. So often, the instruments of lust, as all instruments of higher pleasure, are condemned as frequently as they are sought after. I'd go on about the hypocrisy of a hedophobic society, but I think I'd rather just kill me a man."

Alright. So, Steve is standing, holding a scythe, on the right side of a disco-ball stippled room labelled "Luv Palace." A woman in a tight dress dances in the middle, and another, older woman dressed in something lacier sits on a couch. The older woman says. "Such is the Mystery of Lust. So often, the instruments of lust, as all instruments of higher pleasure, are condemned as frequently as they are sought after. I'd go on about the hypocrisy of a hedophobic society, but I think I'd rather just kill me a man."

22.02.2026 19:23 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

It's been 18 years since I watched it, but I distinctly remember that I hated every character in that movie except the cameraman. If that was deliberate, cool, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't.

21.02.2026 18:22 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
I scored 44.15/50. It's telling me how great I am in a needlessly condescending way, while also saying I'm ranked 67,485 out of 222,444. So... thanks?

I scored 44.15/50. It's telling me how great I am in a needlessly condescending way, while also saying I'm ranked 67,485 out of 222,444. So... thanks?

Finally, a reason to feel marginally more special than you.

18.02.2026 23:00 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

My skill is legendary. #blutoid

16.02.2026 18:57 ๐Ÿ‘ 8 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I'll also say Aria of Sorrow (GBA) is the best of the Metroidvania-style Castlevanias. Most of them across the GBA-DS games are at least decent.

My favourite is still the original Castlevania.

16.02.2026 16:38 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

He wasn't even in New Horizons when it first launched. I don't know how Nintendo isn't aware of his immense importance.

12.02.2026 22:08 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I miss having CJ as my editor. When I was starting out at Dtoid, he always had great advice on how to put the polish on my articles. Happy to have him at Maximum Utmost. #blutoid

12.02.2026 02:54 ๐Ÿ‘ 28 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I would find it really difficult to write a story with a threatening AI antagonist when the current marketed product that is labelled AI is so ineffective and dorky. #blutoid

11.02.2026 17:29 ๐Ÿ‘ 10 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Preview
Moonvasion - Macintosh Repository Moonvasion (Mac abandonware from 1992)

This one? www.macintoshrepository.org/66294-moonva...

10.02.2026 14:52 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I dunno, guy. I just assume no one's my friend, that they just tolerate me until I ask the wrong question or there's a miscommunication. Any kindness from someone is fleeting. I'm perpetually self-conscious and unable to connect with anyone. So, you know, grass is always greener.

10.02.2026 04:08 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

It's funny that Maximum Utmost is in that cluster, but I'm way off elsewhere. I interact with the community directly -- almost exclusively -- while Maximum Utmost reposts things from the site. Weird-ass math.

09.02.2026 17:13 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
A Bluesky map showing Adzuken in relation to p-dude. There's a vast ocean between them, isolating poor Adzuken somewhere in another quadrant.

A Bluesky map showing Adzuken in relation to p-dude. There's a vast ocean between them, isolating poor Adzuken somewhere in another quadrant.

This is Major Tom to ground control...

09.02.2026 16:54 ๐Ÿ‘ 4 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

That's good to know, and has made me realize that Arcade Archives 2 is there, as well. And that they have Tokyo Wars!

07.02.2026 18:32 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Huh. We have the same Ikea TV stand.

07.02.2026 18:14 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

They might only purchase the rights to re-release games on console. For example, Dotemu (or SNK themselves) has the rights to release Metal Slug on PC, and that's probably an exclusivity.

What I want to know is why the Console Archives are Switch 2 only.

07.02.2026 18:04 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Mercury in the drinking water.

07.02.2026 05:42 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

All true. Feels more like an amateur improv performance than a convincing fight.

06.02.2026 20:45 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

They're some of the most boring games that I enjoy because of all the bloated, frustrating customization options. Their DLC and gacha crap, plus the fact that they turn off the servers after two years... I'd never pay full price for one.

06.02.2026 17:16 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

The water is out in my building for some reason, so I wrote this with unwashed hands. You're welcome. #blutoid

06.02.2026 00:29 ๐Ÿ‘ 6 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

It's available via Arcade Archives, so they probably can't include it.

05.02.2026 17:58 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Now, if they'd bring it to North America... #blutoid

05.02.2026 14:53 ๐Ÿ‘ 6 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0