Fluctuating levels of despair πŸŽ πŸŒ»πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ's Avatar

Fluctuating levels of despair πŸŽ πŸŒ»πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ

@traumaphdandme

PhD drop-out. Now a bit broken/lost. Lesbian. She/Her. Depression/trauma/a bit mad. πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸŒ» Post mainly about mental health, disability/accessibility/inclusion, ceramics and other craft projects, and dogs.πŸΊπŸŽ¨πŸ–οΈπŸ©

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28.07.2023
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Latest posts by Fluctuating levels of despair πŸŽ πŸŒ»πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ @traumaphdandme

View from the cliff top. There is a variety of foliage in the foreground, sea beyond it and land visible on the horizon. The sky is full of white clouds.

View from the cliff top. There is a variety of foliage in the foreground, sea beyond it and land visible on the horizon. The sky is full of white clouds.

A blurry photo of Smudge eating. On the grass in front of her is a blue fold
-up bowl with water in it, a scattering of kibble, half a carrot a small piece of apple and two blueberries.

A blurry photo of Smudge eating. On the grass in front of her is a blue fold -up bowl with water in it, a scattering of kibble, half a carrot a small piece of apple and two blueberries.

Sea, sunshine and Smudge therapy helped a lot. The university stuff that felt so overwhelming this morning feels less so this evening. So glad to have this little dog in my life. πŸ₯°

24.08.2023 15:40 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Oh - hello!!! I'm so glad and so sorry I've been crap with invite codes - just realised I have one now I could have given you! πŸ™ˆ
Very glad you're here. 😊

15.08.2023 18:54 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Have other people done symbolic things to mark a trauma anniversary? Looking for ideas.

First anniversary of PhD resignation coming up and they treated me so badly I didn't think I'd be here to write this.

(Things like smashing something, sending a letter out to sea... that sort of thing?!)

02.08.2023 20:46 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

How are you all finding your people here without hashtags?

30.07.2023 20:00 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I thought would be my career. I'm just so tired. I'm approaching the first anniversary of leaving my PhD and I still feel so broken. Thank you for seeing me. And for telling me leaving your PhD felt the same as leaving your abusive relationship. They felt so deeply the same for me. πŸ’” 2/2

29.07.2023 20:50 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I'm so glad to meet someone who gets it. The abusive relationship was a while ago, but it took years and years to have access to therapy that might help to heal those wounds. My PhD opened the abusive relationship wounds up in so many ways. It's the second time I've had to walk away from what 1/

29.07.2023 20:47 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Bluesky is like when you drive through a pleasant town with a very small population and think, β€œI could live here”

29.07.2023 06:59 πŸ‘ 431 πŸ” 56 πŸ’¬ 7 πŸ“Œ 4

Yeah, it's a crappy disease. Can't believe we're just "living with it" now!

28.07.2023 19:38 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

After a few weeks of not being able to cope with any activity at all. Felt a bit better this week, but then overdid it and exhausted myself! πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

2/2

28.07.2023 17:08 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

No, it doesn't help in the long-term. It helps in the short-term though, ugh! I'm quite good with getting enough sleep. Aided by mirtazapine, but I'll go to bed early. Part of the problem atm is that I had covid again and then had bad fatigue for a few weeks, so kind of figuring out my limits 1/

28.07.2023 17:08 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I know lots of DBT skills, and I've had so much therapy, but I think the problem is, I did DBT and worked *so hard*, but it didn't stop me getting into an abusive relationship and it didn't stop me getting discriminated out of my PhD. I feel lost and powerless, and that's a hard place to be. 😐

28.07.2023 16:45 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

What do other people do to look after themselves when feeling burnt out/exhausted?

I mainly eat too much, +/- drink, and isolate myself.

Have people found better ways that actually nourish them...?

I need to rest, I know that much. But beyond that it's just a big question mark. β“πŸ˜¬

28.07.2023 16:41 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

And I always forget, bc my mental health stuff is so load and present, but also #LGBT #lesbian #queer people and anyone posting about #dyslexia or #dyspraxia

28.07.2023 11:08 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Hello, are there any other #MadTwitter #MadBlueSky people here...?

Or anyone posting about #MentalHealth #MentalIllness #TraumaNotPD #Disability #Inclusion?

I'd also take new pottery/craft-y connections?!

28.07.2023 11:05 πŸ‘ 6 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0