☾ Lunar Soviet Socialist Republic ☭

Shahenshah-e-Sultanat Al-New York Zohran Mamdani the Magnificent sends his regards.

A young boy holds a sign that simply states in plain handwriting: Trump hit on my girlfriend

when i say that i yelped in shock at this kid’s sign

I’m thinking of reaching out my hand to pierce the gossamer veil that separates the world of the living from the howling abyss 👻 🎃

Complain all you want about Trump but without him we never would’ve found out the truth about Amelia Earhart.

Most people know Jane Goodall as the first woman to successfully bring a human/chimp hybrid pregnancy to term, but she was also a talented and highly respected researcher.

“Well, this is his third strike so yes ma’am you unfortunately are going to have to come pick him up. Yes ma’am he’s being asked to leave for the day. He’ll be waiting for you in the office. Oh no. I understand. You too. Bye now.”

Yeah we tried to have a revolution in 2011 but most of y’all stayed home and let us get beaten and gassed by militarized police. 14 years ago. And you fucking dipshits didn’t listen.

New evidence photos released by FBI are definitive proof that Lee Harvey Oswald was the lone gunman in the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

Boss asking me to write our public statements 😏 consequently they now contain phrases like “espouses the dangerous delusion that the looming catastrophe can simply be left in the invisible hands of the market – an act of dumb faith that would leave us plummeting into the abyss.”

Omg. More leaked texts from the assassin.

Listen… I’m not a conspiracy theorist but… you can’t really expect me to believe this is real.

I work in an Utah mortuary and don’t want to disclose the name of the business for obvious reasons but… I took a little bite out of Charlie Kirk 😏 They’ll never find it either. You can’t see it from the outside.

I work in an Utah mortuary and don’t want to disclose the name of the business for obvious reasons but… I took a little bite out of Charlie Kirk 😏 They’ll never find it either. You can’t see it from the outside.

Charlie Kirk’s wife told their daughter that her father had to die because she ate too many blueberries.

Charlie Kirk’s wife told their daughter that her father had to die because she ate too many blueberries.

When you get a not guilty, the Δ is taken back to jail for processing before release so you never get to see that moment when they walk out free. Today bc the DA fucked up transport, I got to be the one who met my client at the door and there are no words to describe how it felt.

AND TRUMP HAD A STROKE?!?! HAPPY 9/11 EVERYONE! 🎉

I won a trial so hard the prosecutor is getting fired and Charlie Kirk is currently being consumed by his body’s own bacterial flora. Great week.

Trial’s over! Now I can finally enjoy the exsanguination of Charlie Kirk.

This is what experts call “within the Kirk zone”

RIP Charlie Kirk

HitlerSuckfest1488: "This has radicalized me."

Nooo where are you going we just want to talk ☺️

Like… imagine being fucking ASSASSINATED then it’s like two years later and no one thinks about it or talks about it or cares it ever happened or that you were ever alive.

I’m in awe that someone can be such a extinction level piece of shit that getting their throat blown apart in cold blood elicits not an inkling of sympathy. Even conservatives don’t seem authentically sad about it.

[shudders]

You never see this kind of honesty in a transaction anymore.

This is not a woman. This is the dismembered torso of a child.

EXCLUSIVE: Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania actress Kathryn Newton and Coyote vs. Acme star Lana Condor are headlining Amazon MGM Studios’ Devil’s Mouth, from director Jeff Wadlow. The survival thriller, a co-production with Lionsgate, follows college friends who on a trip to get to Thailand who get trapped in an underwater cave system with a bull shark. Old tensions and power struggles resurface as they fight to survive.

Quietly but eagerly anticipating a movie whose log line seems to be “What if The Descent was also Jaws?”