Accidentally snapped at the bagel shop lady when she tried to upsell me on weird creams for the mini bagel. She wasn't to know it's for a toddler who just likes to gnaw it raw.
lore
the democrats are like if your house is burning so u dial 911, then 2 days later a dog dressed as fireman shows up wagging his tail 12:49 PM · Dec 14, 2016
i'm disappointed but not shocked that this time capsule from 2016 is not only still true, but maybe even more true
Are you, or is anyone you know, currently on active duty? Do you have opinions about the Iran war? Would you be interested in sharing them with me for an article? We will keep you completely anonymous
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your completely subjective tastes that you are disgustingly somehow allowed to have are wrong and need to be re-calibrated because this is actually funny
it's good actually
I only found out about this word like a week ago and now i'm watchin hours long videos. The first one said you're not ready for the deer antler knapping go back and watch the copper billet video first. I kind of want to spend ten years learning to bang rocks to make one sort of okay arrowhead
Anyone who has spent five minutes in a punk scene, even the biggest losers I ever met in my life, is smarter than any media-American trying to sanitize the guy with a conspicuous Nazi tattoo
New article time!!!
Ever wonder why a bunch of weirdoes keep telling us that Grand Theft Auto 6 is the most important event in history and video game prices have to go up?
Well, here's why these weirdoes are completely out of touch with reality!
docseuss.medium.com/a-hundred-do...
They were caught on a g.d. saturday loading up a wheelbarrow with the computer lab's macs and made the goddamned sub-principal install jester software to lock us out from doing ANYTHING i had just bought doom 2 and we were doing deathmatches what am i going to do with doom 2 for a mac now
i have a 30 year grudge against bungee already, it is not valid, (school bullies robbed the macintosh computer lab and got the game club shut down, never shared marathon, not once, took it with them when they got expelled) but it kept me on the right side of history today, coincidentally
the little hood to make her calm down and sleep is so very very tall
she is standing on his arm, like a falcon
the security guard who caught me smearing boat widening cream on the hull of a container ship just outside the suez canal: is that boat widening cream?
me: what
Until his episodes I didn't notice that all betazoid had like, no irises. Pure black orbs of malice. They're usually horny so you don't notice
The movie where steve gutenberg tricks his commendant into thinking he sucked him off gay style in order to get kicked out but actually he just had a prostitute hiding in the podium with him, and, when the commandant figured out the ruse, got him revenge sucked off by the same prostitute, that movie, the one where the villians get forced to dance with butch leatherdaddies all night every single sequel, that movie, had a children's cartoon for some fucking reason, and that children's cartoon on saturday morning had a toy line that included hand cuffs. They're just huge plastic hands. With a chain between them. You handcuff someone by grabbing them with the hands. YOu're under arrest you'd say. Aw beans they'd say. Nobody lets you handcuff them though. I forget what happened to them. I think when I laughed like tom goes to the mayor when eric sees the Rats Off To Ya teeshirt, uncontrollably and aggressively, that it just makes your parents think "okay so we have to thrift store that one immediately. The instant he puts it down it has to go onto a high shelf and then to a thrift store because I can't be dealing with this forever."
I got these for christmas when I turned eight and I could not stop laughing. It was just, the perfect joke. it says bee my valentine and there's a picture of a bee on it.
Every major disaster in this country over my lifetime has been self inflicted by right wing ideologues with just enough complicit or inert Democrats to enable or ratify them. That's why we've been on this doom trajectory for the last ~50 years and it'll keep getting worse if that doesn't change
i feel like i was in the right that power tools at 9am on my day to sleep in was fucked but also you just gotta not let it get to that point and you gotta be responsible with your facial hairs and not cause problems in the community
if you let the hairs get any length at all then the philtrum especially is going to hurt as they snag and drag. I once gave up and said "i'm gonna have to tackle this later" but forgot and knocked on a neighbor's dorm asking them to please not build a go kart w/
uh that mustache no one should have
I hope and pray you get in to a group chat, hog cranker 666, but until then, you shave v.e.r.y c.a.r.e.f.u.l.l.y i would not recommend just draggin a razor across your face i would buzz it first. popular wisdom says with the grain but i have never agreed. shave against the grain it feels smoother
i think it's in whatever language the doozers speak from fraggle rock. the doozers who went to hell and were forced to create their own torments
for various prank related reasons I have seen this movie eight times and all of that was in the movie
i am in dog court accused of pretending to throw the ball when i actually didn't. i am found not guilty because if this were true the ball would still be in my hand. evidence for my guilt cannot be procured. i am released but gunned down on the steps of the courthouse
everyone is "not mad" at me which is worse somehow
need a mod to have a sense of smell represented that does something more useful than make me depressed when i walk by a dead body. in real life, if i set the oven timer and not a real timer i will get some extra crispy pizzas but i do catch them before they're completely briquetted up bc of smell
I have made coffee and walked into the next room and forgotten about my coffee for eight hours but until now the lack of executive function or even object permanence hasn't burnt down my friends' roadhouse
I think it's rude to make a cooperative game where if you don't watch your food cook for exactly five minutes real time and don't get distracted and walk away to do literally anything else you burn the group's home down
I don't need to explain why if you've seen Cool World
Cool World
