Mostly Unhealthy🇨🇦

Feeling like my life is over cuz I'm definitely in perimenopause.

How's all your days going?

No. But I did try to swipe up on a drink can once to read the next page of ingredients. 🤔

This☝️😂😂

Lately I've been watching The West Wing.

Most people don't know that the "Dynamite" he was referring to, was actually that song by Taio Cruz.

Should we get a pool going for if/when he will fall asleep?

If I can keep napping, you can keep calling it sleepy snoozies time.

I do this too but don't tell my boss. He thinks I'm just a sticker for good grammar.

I do.

They aren't of me.

You know it's not gonna get better after he dies right?

It was like that when they got there.

Scruffers: The bowtie itches though. Take it off.

Take it off.

TAKE IT OFF!!!!

Sorry🫤

I'm just gonna say it. Macaulay Culkin has really let himself go.

(no offense meant to Culkin. I'm envisioning the him playing Kid in a movie about his downfall).

Remember when we were kids and we made music videos and fake movies and stuff?

We thought we were SO cool.

Too bad the MAHA douches never grew out of that.

Nap in the living room with the game on.

Screenshot of a news article I made up about Lent actually being Lint cuz of a typo. Not as good as The Onion of course, but I thought it was a little creative at least 😏

Breaking: Typo found in Bible which changes Lent forever.

Well, I almost had a date 🫤

🤞

Having a peri+menopausal night sleep on an weekend away with my girls and I'm sharing a bed 🤨

This is not good

Nick. Babe. Just admit you're gay and get on with it already 🤨

Ok. So here's the plan. John Stewart runs for president with the kick ass-est of running mates.

He wins, then steps down immediately because he knows that he has no business running a cournty, paving the way for his kick ass running mates to take over and fix everything.

I find it slimming.

How can you miss the mark by that much?!?!

I'm not even American and I can see how utterly ignorant this is.

Abolish ICE!!!!!

But not handsy.

Hoping the cat distribution system finds me at some point.🤞

Finally signed up for LinkedIn and I'm realizing it's just Facebook but for businesses.

I hate it already.

While everyone is freaking out over Bad Bunny, can we take a moment to appreciate the absolute MASTERPIECE that was Green Day's set?!

I only wish they had been allowed to go longer.

@greenday.bsky.social

Screenshot of an add showing someone CUTTING A TOUNGE WITH A KITCHEN KNIFE!! And I'm not 100% sure it isn't still attached to someone or something 😶.

What the fuck is this crap?!?!

Well that's a little uncomfortable to think about 😬