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@mattschiffler

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24.09.2023
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Latest posts by @mattschiffler

It is, at least, heartening to know that there's not a long line of would-be prosecutors beating down the door to pledge allegiance to Trump.

08.02.2026 01:39 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Strongly disagree. Shooting him into the sun keeps him in the solar system permanently, shooting out into space makes him someone else's problem.

29.01.2026 08:30 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Imagine having Josh Allen and opting to run a bunch of handoffs that get stuffed up the middle

28.09.2025 19:25 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

He has a concept of a plan for an announcement

02.09.2025 10:48 👍 7 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

Join the club

27.08.2025 17:36 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Do qualifying conditions include "Higher Risk (conclusive)" only, or the other categories as well?

27.08.2025 17:35 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Not to mention it disregards the fact that the President can't just make laws out of thin air

25.08.2025 16:08 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Just let him think it does.

20.08.2025 03:00 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

The violent crime rate in Tallahassee is more than twice that of Washington DC 🤷‍♂️

12.08.2025 15:28 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Not beating the "covering for Trump" allegations, I see

21.07.2025 16:47 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

It wouldn't be shocking if he did, but no. Always verify Twitter screenshots by visiting the relevant Twitter page yourself.

15.07.2025 22:33 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Here is Trump's gameplan:

1. work the public into a frenzy demanding the list be released

2. release a doctored version that conveniently doesn't implicate him or any of his allies

3. say "i tried not to release this, but the Democrats made me"

4. his base thinks he's a hero

Mark my words.

13.07.2025 13:05 👍 17 🔁 0 💬 5 📌 0

What is Ramanujan's taxicab number minus the number of Scheherezade's tales?

18.06.2025 11:15 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Wow, I'm so shocked that a Trump nominee lied in a confirmation hearing. That has never happened before. 🙄

10.06.2025 15:38 👍 11 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

Why would he be worried about that? The Republicans in the Senate will let him get away with anything he wants.

29.05.2025 09:26 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Most billionaires know how many zeroes are in $52 billion

25.05.2025 23:20 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0

Due to contract disputes, your cable company is running SportsCenter reruns from 2007?

20.05.2025 09:39 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

"...kids should die from measles" - RFK Jr.

12.05.2025 13:26 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

The best possible measles treatment is to kick RFK Jr. out of office and replace him with someone who knows what they're talking about.

03.05.2025 00:24 👍 123 🔁 10 💬 0 📌 0

That correlation is good! Direct inverse correlation between fluoride and low IQ: more fluoride = less low IQ.

30.04.2025 22:36 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

I'm tired of watching teams run for 7-15 yards on first and 10 at will every week. The Bills have lots of great defensive players, that shouldn't be happening.

09.12.2024 01:19 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

If the offense puts up 42 points and you lose, the defensive coordinator should be fired. That should just be a leaguewide rule.

09.12.2024 01:09 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Better hurry up and arrest him before he has the advantage of knowing his own name....

08.12.2024 00:25 👍 15 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

What a coincidence! I never get jobs I don't apply for either!

07.12.2024 04:23 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

There is a lot of regional variation. Where I grew up, "crayon" and "garage" are both one syllable: go to the graj and getcher box o' crans

06.12.2024 01:34 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Car when it's 40 °F and the roads are bone dry: "CAUTION, POSSIBLE ICE, DRIVE WITH CARE"

Car when it's 25 °F and the roads are literally a sheet of ice: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

17.02.2024 17:52 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

That wasn't really the lions' fault... Little Caesar's is the villian there

28.01.2024 23:22 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Post image

A warning for the Chiefs. Go Bills!

17.01.2024 22:02 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Oh! Binging like binge!

At first I thought it was like Googling, but on Bing

28.11.2023 04:38 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

I've been on this planet for more than 40 years and still need the diagram to help me remember which end of a AA battery is positive and which one is negative.

07.11.2023 12:47 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0