Joe Barton

When Arsenal win there are a dozen articles about how this is a sign of their renewed mental fortitude. When they lose there are a dozen articles about how the wheels are coming off this brittle band of scared children. This will continue for the rest of the season to the detriment of us all

Watched so much ‘Rob and Romesh’ recently I’ve developed an incredibly powerful parasocial relationship with them. Started Last One Laughing and was like ‘there’s my boy Rob. My good friend with whom I’ve shared so many adventures. I should text Romesh about this’

Absolute elite level shithousery from Wolves. And I love it.

Being released onto the manicured grounds of a stately home and being hunted for sport by Emerald Fennell and those Investment banker lads who make Industry

Almost 5pm and it’s still bright out. As we say in Ireland. Up the Ra.

Ra being the ancient Egyptian sun god. We give thanks to our Sun deity, and praise him.

One day there will be a reckoning for how Arsenal Football Club dealt with this case. And I’m afraid that includes the manager

You must never forget Dante’s lesson that there are many levels to hell

Our long nightmare is over. Now a new nightmare begins.

Almost certainly not let’s be honest

We’ll always have those two good pre-season games (one of which we lost)

Self immolating

“We started off like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended in tragedy”

I have to say, gallows humour aside, I am starting to seriously worry about the negative effect this might have on Daniel Levy’s share price

Spurs getting relegated? To what? The Championship? A ship full of champions? Well call me the captain because that sounds like my kind of boat!

It’s actually criminal that spurs didn’t bring in more players in January. I mean it’s actually a crime and I would like someone to be in jail

Remarkable to think that Chris Bauer was only 19 years old when he played Frank Sobotka in The Wire

I don’t think even the people who made that show thought it was 5 stars

Happy that Jack Thorne gets this too

(I’m only teasing really, I live in Brighton, I know it’s important to the fans!)

1 year for every mile between the stadiums!

Those ones are real

We don’t have to accept this.

Hey this is nothing to do with me

Brighton and Crystal Palace fans angered the football gods by inventing a fake rivalry and as punishment have been cursed to watch the most dirge derby matches imaginable for all eternity

My boys

You’ve always been down on him!