Lot of times I mention regrets to people and I get "oh if I hadn't have made this mistake I wouldn't have met my wife/had my kid/gotten the job I have"
I have none of those
I don't have any upside, "well I'm glad I fucked up" things in my life to be happy about, nothing I can think of at least
Maybe if I wasn't such a short sighted retard I could've gotten myself on a better track earlier on in life, at least early enough to make a difference, so I wouldn't have been in the situation I'm in now
The weeks almost done, just one more day I need to worry about
🐍👅 #FGO
posted more than a month ago you-know-where
Don't know when the last decent nights sleep I had was
For me it's pretty much entirely just depression, I can fight off almost awkwardness and anxiety when at work or certain outings, but I can't beat back the negative thoughts that scream in the forefront of my head until everything else is drowned out
I would very much like a break from the bad stuff please, maybe even something good to happen to me for once
Please
Am I also gonna find a pet dead or break down on my way home? What the fuck else is the world going to throw at me tonight
A hundred fires I need to put out at work because the manager is scatterbrained to hell and the owner is never around
Getting into arguments with family so I'll get to deal with a headache when I get home
Bills pushed thru earlier than expected so I have a negative bank account until Tuesday
Tonight's just a night of fucking headaches everywhere I go, work and home
I only started going to therapy seriously a year ago, and only just got on meds a few months ago, still trying to chip away at the years of bullshit myself but it's slow going
I feel like I should be in a bad mood but idk why, this is weird
Everything in me is screaming at me to be in a shitty awful mood, but nothing will give a reason as to why, just that I should be upset or pissed off or depressed
Portrait of Tali'Zorah from the Mass Effect trilogy done in poster-like style with bold shapes and solid colours. She is portrayed from the knees-up, standing firmly with her legs spread wide. Her suit hugs her muscular body tightly, abs poking through the fabric. She is holding a shotgun perched on one of her shoulders. Silhouettes of several quarian ships surge in the background.
Tali'Zorah with Abs
Commissioned piece ('22)
#art #fanart #masseffect #musclegirl #pinup
I press, they continue to press back, "you'll lose money and you don't need that right now"
I went thru 3 months straight of missing a week at a time because of various shit, I can get thru the same again with time to save up, but no, they said no and that's all the answer will ever be
Love arguing with family over stupid shit
I offer to take a week off work while they head down south so I can watch the animals and all, they say I really don't need to, but I'll take any reason to take off from this job
Selena Corey the Singing Zombie from Re9 Requiem
Silver🦴
(Timelapse here)
subscribestar.adult/fluffydango
rida (realda)
Silly Tomboy Raccoon eats sushi with you!🍣
Art by the amazing @deccatezu.bsky.social, thank you!!!💖
After 9 yeareals, it's finally my turn to post the "a thousand cereals" clip, seeing as how I'm the idiot who made it.
I wanna talk and interact but at the same time my head is screaming at me to isolate from everyone
Some kind of warning bell is going off, like I've done something wrong and need to insulate myself from the soon to come blow up and fallout of whatever fucked up mistake I've made
Really wish that sleep would help improve my mood rather than keeping it the same and just skipping time forward a few hours
Sleep didn't help
Woke up feeling exactly the same, only difference is that my eyes hurt now but I still feel like total shit
Might say fuck it and cancel tabletop tomorrow, give myself a break from everything, just isolate after work and keep to myself for the next couple days
But I can't gather the motivation to try and improve things again, I can't convince myself to just pick myself back up, to get off my ass and back onto my feet, and to continue this long March on
I can't get myself to do it and I don't know why
Just need some kind of break, but I continue to worry that that break just isn't coming, I don't want to be this miserable sack of shit that I constantly am but I can't convince myself that it's going to get better anytime soon
Just having a rough fucking week man
Everyone has someone, everyone but me
I feel guilty for asking around the people I hope I'm not bothering, and even then I worry that all I ever am is an annoying, pitiful bother to everyone I know
