Kalshi's PR spin that they "don't trade on death" (they do indirectly) as a moral thing is funny when you realize that without the one layer they created a perfect murder-for-hire service. I just offer a contract betting that Guy I. Wantdead will be alive next Friday and the market takes care of it
"What's that chair in the corner of the office for?," Markwayne asks on his first day, just before burning his desk
Loading bricks of cocaine into a million-dollar mini-sub to fund our mutual aid collective for my cartel boss, El Solidaridad
We’re two degrees of stupid from a bunch of people being mad about an AI video of Peter Griffen dying in dogfight over Kuwait because Kalshi is refusing to pay out
There's a guy who drives around my neighborhood driving a Cybertruck flying huge Iranian and American flags. I'll ask for his nuanced take
Oh one of you blocked the other, ignore me I'm dumb
Ha. Funny because I was remarking about the DHS kid. Maybe Kruse doesn't want to be quoted, no idea
Every time I see this guy's picture it reminds me of early in the movie when Benjamin Button was little but old
To be clear here I do not mean they Bollywood stars. They rule. We should "Argo" them out before launching Operation Even More Epic Fury
"Small update. Delta Airlines has lost The Constitution. But no worries, we received a twenty dollar voucher toward Aunt Annie's Pretzels"
Hey ChatGPT can you write "I'm a fucking useless loser who hasn't updated his understanding of politics or the world since 1997" but say it like I went to Harvard
Tonight on CBS, Young Sheldon avoids a cortisol spike when he mathmogs a neurotypical MOID who was trying to nerdgoon
Just imagine the chyrons you'll see in the background with your earbuds in
They seem to think controlling CNN is meaningful and, like, ok, have fun. They now own the Zune of propaganda
If in the 90s you could've inspired an SVU episode where a prep school kid on crack strangles a girl at a rave, congrats, you get to be CEO of something
Unwoke Sinners: The band plays Florida-Georgia Line covers. The vampires can enter without a warrant. After every death they assume it was due to the vaccine
You can tell these AI dipshits have never had a real job because they think they’re training it to talk to customers but what it’ll learn is to complain that Brenda took a shit before her 15-minute break and not during it
Before you write off anything as Too Stupid to Be Possible here, in "Men of War" Jordan Goudreau says they planned regime change in Venezuela at a WeWork in Miami and Kurt Schiller admits he was there but says if anyone planned a coup it must have been when he was in the bathroom
I remember reading about that. It’s the same lady who caused a crack up last year by having a small engagement ring or something? All so dumb
I don’t know why you guys are watching the State of the Union. YouTube probably has a video of a toilet overflowing with diarrhea that’s a lot shorter
It’s like a lifeguard telling people no horseplay. They have to do it so they can say they did if someone sues the city. Our society requires these dumb rituals
I for one would like to see a politician be sane about this stuff. "Unfortunately it's a cop's job sometimes to tell people having fun to knock it off. People shouldn't throw snowballs at them, but also police officials shouldn't call for the imprisonment of everyone who makes them feel like nerds."
My wife and I do this. She wants an aisle seat and I don't want middle. People will offer to switch with me like it's some sort of accident I ended with window shade-control and an armrest. "Oh you'll gift me the youngest child seat and neck cramps? What a saint"
Mavs fan here. If you told me two years ago they’d be starting Khris Middleton and Tyus Jones and Marvin Bagley was the first player off the bench I’d assume their team plane must’ve crashed with no survivors
I know nothing of Irish and UK accents and only hear them through the lens of class. Everything else about her has a wealthy influencer vibe then (to me) she talks like an orphan with an eye patch
I’ve been doing a daily spin as well and also got Mavs at 1 today. Peterson scares me. If they whiff this pick they’re gonna have to trade Coop, just need to avoid a bust. I’d take AJ, but it’s still gonna be a struggle if DL2’s foot can’t recover from whatever Nico’s TaskRabbit trainers did to it
Ickey Woods never disappointed anyone
Trump's cortisol levels skyrocketing after being brutally SCOTUSmogged and failing to tariffmaxx the moids and foids.
And the real winner is the Kavanaugh clerk who used Polymarket to parlay the opinion with airstrikes on Tehran
