"Sweet Man" Cam

you keep mailing me teeth, for starters

i'd smoke an acre of tobacco if it meant i'd know a moment of peace in this life. unfortunately hornbread has seen to it that this will never come to pass

more like grazie milla. more like keanu please. depresion

i've realized milla jovovich and keanu reeves are two actors that i'll watch in anything. anytime you got milla or keanu on the screen? baby these eyes are peeled! not literally

i'd walk into the criterion closet and the closet would pick ME

gunk and saran? like butter and jam...on my kness! god beless

knees hurt? slap some gunk on 'em. gunk - it's what your knees kneed!™️

i wish i loved anything as much as people on this web site love to panic

[onion headline] Life feels like it is slipping away like sand through my fingers vs No it doesn’t

The only type of gambling that should be allowed is betting on Russian roulette like in The Deer Hunter

Oh my god I’ve been looking for this

I think 98% of decisions the president makes are directly related to his desire to be talked about. he'll do anything. if he wasn't president he'd probably be running around on all fours naked and barking like a dog with his dick and nuts tucked between his back legs just to get some press

ty sweetheart

please let cindy know she needs to get her shit together before i lose mine

you put a red heart on that or you don't even show up. cat with heart eyes emoji is better. sobbing emoji is the correct response. fucking cindy

posted a pic of one of my precious cats on my work's viva engage "cute animals" community and this asshole cindy gives it the thumbs up? fuck you cindy!!!!!

OpenAI and…the United States Military…are teaming up to notify YOU that your son has been KILLED IN ACTION. Click here to speak with your son via AI one last time

go on markwayne git!

you take care

every day they got a new one. who's getting unveiled tomorrow? reminds me of the futility of life

markwayne stop yer crouchin

you absolutely cannot be putting markwayne in charge of anything. two or three dr peppers and that man is bouncing off the walls

I understand this reference

help

kids these days are writing to Claude when they should be talking to Gaude

widow handing my recovered Meta glasses to Werner Herzog who watches the last saved video of me trying to eat too big a sandwich

bluesky is an echo chamber where you learn about alf's dick. twitter is an echo chamber where you learn to say stuff like "actually it's called ephebophilia"

Up in the sky--is it bird, is it plane?
Why, none of the above--it's the Vlasic crane
Pickel

fuck

amazon drone flying with a jar of "classic" vlasic dill pickles

@joelastname.bsky.social thinking about Duke today. wish i could airlift him some classic cukes - CM