Just Call Me Amanda🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛

Not in the slightest, but we all had a good laugh.

"Perpetually pompous unwashed ass"?

A girl i worked with was named Maggie May and one day she met the love of her life. His name, weirdly, was Rod Stewart, but not *that* Rod Stewart. The dude who officiated their wedding had a BLAST with all of that.

If I said "his actions and statements are those of a man with a perpetually unwashed ass", who do you think I'm referencing?

And is hush the only thing we've puppied?

Listen, I'm just here for the free snacks. My jokes are...bad.

There are so many bird posts all over my timeline and I can't thank you all enough.

Met this lovely woman the other night at the concert. She talked about visiting family in Ireland and we shared stories of our heritage. Turns out her surname was the same as my grandfather's mother who was an abusive drunk (passed that to him) and I probably shouldn't have shared that last bit. 😂

Darby Allin

Fridays are for finding joy wherever you can.
🩷🤍🖤

#DailyDarby
#AEW
#wrestlesky

It's hard to take people who have the same name as one or more of my most deadbeat relatives seriously.

"Oh, you have a PhD and are recognized as an expert in your field with a multitude of awards?....yeah, but you have the same name as my drunk uncle who abandoned his kids, so...nah."

😂

Oh, people think I'm pretty ragey, too. I just feel like I don't have time for bullshit, you know? I don't try to be hurtful about it even though it's often perceived as such. But thank you for saying so. It's not often people say "hey, that's neat!" 😂

I am a lot of things, but at least I'm not drunk texting "you up?" to somebody who wasn't a first choice to begin with.

Girl, get your shit together. You're better than that.

Where to begin? First off, they exist?

I keep saying 52 is indeed young, but nobody is buying it.

....me, too.

Hangman Adam Page holding a little felt doll of himself

I want an angry, slutty little doll modeled on me, too.

#AEW

Support #punkrock
Check out The Foleys

Mar Kwayne is about to drop the sickest diss track...

😂

I remember laughing every time my grandmother would curse at her boobs and saying they were nothing but stain catchers. Now I get it.

A frog holding a tadpole as if holding an infant, defending against a burning(?) skeleton in pursuit. Mountains and buildings in thr style of Yellow Submarine in the background

It's my understanding that this is Burning Man

Switchblade

I was thinking maybe

😂😂 Context is key!

🩷🤍🖤

Right?! 😂

The pit of despair and horniness!

It's the internet and I revealed my gender. I pretty much expect that request. But no...someone is asking strangers to fund her kids school trip? I dunno. I guess i draw on personal experience too much and recall working 18 hr days to help my kid go to Europe for a school trip.

To preface this, I was diagnosed as a Type 1 diabetic as a kid. My grandmother was all about trying to make things "normal" by buying sugar free candy and such. At that time, they used sorbitol as a sweetener which rivaled Olestra as a gut buster. We literally had a fart contest. For hours. It was 🤢

😂😂😂😂

I'm just glad it's not "fingering their buttholes" because there is already enough of that on the Discover tab.