Bald

Padres played baseball today I think.

Rip BROCKHAMPTON you would've been briefly considered for contributing a track to Kpop Demon Hunters.

Hey union pacific I have a good idea above 1401 into the Hudson river tunnels.

Baby boomers are so funny like what do you mean you watched your parents put man on the moon and then y'all decided to spend the next 60 years fucking everything up for everyone after you.

If you're a independent brewery and you use AI generated artwork to make flyers for your events, surely your beer must not be that good either. What do you mean none of your staff or your staff's SO's have SOME sort of graphic design talent.

THE MICHELIN MAN IS A ZOOLOGICAL ANOMALY AND SHOULD NOT BE TRUSTED

> Dodgers owned by Guggenheim group (a company)
> Defer a shit ton of money, sign literally every top FA
> Lockout 2027
> Because they can't generate income from baseball, they can't pay players
> Guggenheim goes broke, all players leave team
> ?????
> Mets win world series 2028

ACAB includes Buzz Lightyear.

(fats domino song) I'm krumping to New Orleans

My grandma works at a deli and she cut my grilled cheese into radial fourths.

I am the most special boy.

We're all gonna see Mr. Snuffleupagus.

I absolutely would share a blunt with the following:
Elmo
Big Bird
Tiny Chef
Paddington
Kermit The Frog
Fozzie Bear
Gonzo
Elmo (again)

Not worried about that. The CIA killed Rudolph man.

The Disney's Christmas parade hosted by CKY

Can you really all yourself an indie music artist if your stuff is ONLY available on Spotify

I, as a tax paying American, am heavily against the "zaddyfication" of Santa Claus.

Completely nuts that Every Time I Die released one of their best records and then break up months later.

*jfk voice* my fellow Americans, I er uh, am asking you to lauwk the fuck in

YEAAH UUHHH CAN I GET SOME WINGS WITH SOME POOP TO DIP IN???

Last night I pulled a gilbert gotfried impressive out so good my vision went black and couldn't do it again.

Legit it's easier to watch the ISS YouTube live streams than to find some website run on 5 laptops owned by some Egyptian dudes for a blurry ass stream of out of market baseball.

Snuggie with Extended Release Methadone

Fellas, stop using stream east take a wire coat hanger and shove it into the coax jack of that cheap ass insignia TV you have and watch over the air cable like God intended illegal streaming sights scare the women.

You make your first computer a full tower so you learn that your computer does not need to be a full tower.

Literally any time I've had friends get flights cancelled it was through Jet Blue I'm never flying their sorry airline I don't give a damn if there's leg room.

MAN LOVE RULES OK

Fuck NASCAR overtime truly not a serious motorsports series.

Watching the NASCAR championship race. All this tire shit would not happen on a Michelin tire (this has happened on a Michelin tire)

youtu.be/zP50Ewh31E4?... this song is what it feels like to drink sprite.

"would you love me if I was a bug that could deadlift 245 for 10"