elijah_says_hey🔹

why does the bathroom at my job smell so bad huh?

goodnight bluesky ❤️❤️❤️

BREAKING: my heart

ugh never meet your idols what’d it say?

i work in the same building as ppl from draft kings and every day i get a little closer to asking them how they sleep at night

can’t wait to explain my evil plan just when it seems like the hero has no chance to stop me

i’d be like vroom vroom no biggy tho

please drop your recs for someone funny to follow on here. don’t wanna boost “x” but also my feed is awful

i am dems

dems have got to find a less lame essence im begging

elijah has now surpassed taylor swift in total number of followers on bluesky. there’s a sea change underway. 👀👀👀

PLEASE verify your email

my toxic trait is i think id actually be really good at a high speed car chase

nothing funny on here at all

When I say tweet here I mean it like I would say Kleenex for any tissue or chapstick for any lip balm

reply tweet what’s up

turned 25 last week, well deserved!

love u guys

the number 1 sign this app will never get off the ground is that i feel safe tweeting on here

tomorrow i will post my most liked tweet ever unless i forget

sorry but this is what 99% of my peers poetry sounds like to me

the dust wiggles
as it ////
sense the approach of the
vacuum

how do i tell instagram idgaf who is going live

charlize theron just followed me holy fuck

the dust wiggles as the vacuum approaches

i wonder how many words per minute i can type when im driving

please verify your email

about to do another itchy test to see if i’m allergic to dust and pollen which i am …

really it’s an itch tolerance test if you think about it

i would've named this app something else

good job i think this is so nice